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Animals In Print
The On-Line Newsletter

From 12 December 2002 Issue


by Judith Marie Gansen

Article 17 - Let's Invent a New SPORT

We need to invent another SPORT so people can have more outdoor fun and be closer to nature. This SPORT would provide exercise at times or you could be more passive if you chose to do so. For some, it would alleviate stress. For others, it would be a great way to get away from the office. This SPORT would generate jobs and this would help the economy especially in rural or poor areas of our country. Every SPORT needs its gear, right? This SPORT would also support other businesses indirectly--when people participate in the SPORT they will need to go out to eat and sometimes travel to get to a place to participate. People can participate in contests and trophies could be awarded for accomplishments in this SPORT. This ego builder (especially for males) would encourage competition and therefore increase revenues. Alcohol consumption could be a part of it although generally not encouraged. Some businesses may close in honor of the SPORT, even government may shut down to participate in the SPORT! Some people will plan their entire vacation around this SPORT or travel to other countries. It would be a SPORT that you could participate in with your children or do as a family-- it's not like we have other activities you could do with them! This SPORT could become a tradition and stand proudly alongside other traditions like slavery and women not voting and sacrificing babies to a God. We need tradition after all--how much fun are those other traditions like Christmas trees or gift giving? This SPORT could also be tied into worshipping God and we can even use the Bible to convince others this sport is "natural." You can also teach ignorant people that this SPORT is necessary for control of wildlife ensuring your continued enjoyment of it as well as hefty profits for the businesses who support the SPORT! Also you needn't tell anyone that the sport actually causes overpopulation of wildlife!!!

With any SPORT there is a "down" side though. To some participants--death will occur. These are accidental of course. Serious injury, maiming and suffering by participants may also occur since this SPORT has risks. You may send your loved one off to participate only to have the police come and inform you they are now dead and some of these deaths will happen every year. Also heart attacks are very common in this sport. Then there is the problem of "innocent bystanders"--living beings including young children who really didn't ask to participate in this SPORT but may have been brought along by parents but nonetheless they may be killed or injured--this will include human and non-human living beings (dogs, cats, etc.) who were just in the wrong place at the wrong time--animals of many kinds--both domestic and wild may be affected--even tiny songbirds but what good are they for anyway? Sometimes due to being prevented from participating in the SPORT, some people may in anger strike out also at the innocent bystanders or irate property owners. It's simply unavoidable. Child sexual abuse will likely be higher in areas where people participate. Law enforcement of all kinds will spend many man-hours policing this SPORT--arresting, writing reports, etc., but hey, that is what those folks get paid for! Then there will be the problem of property damage, not only to homes that were stupidly built to raise children in many cases but just put too darn close to places where the SPORT is being practiced, even on government lands which are bought and maintained with all of our tax dollars--again this is too difficult a problem to fix unless we don't practice the SPORT and that is unthinkable. Thanks to all the money generated by the SPORT though, we can ensure a stranglehold on many state legislatures so we can have great laws that allow us to enjoy our sport even as close as 450 yards from someone else's house! By penetrating state governments we can ensure that our SPORT will be the most important sport over all the rest! We will even create a national organization designed to protect and promote this SPORT at ANY cost--won't that be great? We can use our financial clout to be sure to elect government officials who have to always vote for our SPORT--we will own them!! Such power!!!

Your energy bill, insurance bills, etc., will most likely go up because of frustrated participants in this SPORT who can't complete their mission and so get alittle upset and take that anger out on things like utility wires, transformers, telephone poles, etc. There may be power interruptions due to this as well. The environment will take a hit--there will be misses that hit trees and other "debris" from this SPORT that will fall to the ground--after all, people need their enjoyment and can't be expected to pick up after themselves, now can they? So what if the swans in some lakes eat the "debris" left from the SPORT and become ill or die--that's not our fault!

If you are unfortunate enough to live in the country (where you may have moved for clean air and peace), there may be a few problems there as well. Participants in this SPORT may not realize when they trespass on your land. You should wear a bright color or perhaps flashing lights or carry a loudspeaker and yell a lot so that when doing things like getting your mail or walking your dog on your own land, you don't become a statistic. Better yet, avoid going to get your mail or walk the dog at all. It's a good idea to spraypaint any children, livestock or animals on your land with a bright color for this reason too or hide them in an underground bunker. Be sure to check your home for evidence of damage in case this SPORT accidentally puts holes in your siding--these folks are just having fun, they didn't mean to do that! There may also be a run on alcohol and tranquilizers from people who don't like this SPORT being done close to their homes--it is a bit noisy and may affect the homeowner plus their pets causing things like nervousness and/or headaches or other signs of stress--hey, that is a small price to pay for this great new SPORT and all the good that comes with it! Those people have no property rights themselves, it's not like they pay taxes too! The participants can't be expected to know property boundaries so country people will have to pay out lots of money to have their acreage surveyed, staked and then post signs--in many areas at about 10 foot intervals since some of the participants apparently may be just about BLIND and they can't be expected to know property boundaries--for gosh sakes, they are too busy enjoying their SPORT! Also be cautious if things like animals cut off at the head upset you as you may find one on your land with the rest of the body rotting away--it's part of the SPORT silly and they needed that head for the trophy! Other times animals may get wounded and take days to suffer and die--hey, tough cookies!

Oh yes, and also as you drive in any area where this SPORT is taking place which will be pretty much anywhere in the US during certain times of the year--remember to be extra vigilant as unfortunately this SPORT causes animals to run into the road, sometimes really big animals like deer. In fact, the first day the SPORT begins 5 times the number of deer/car collisions will likely take place. Unfortunately sometimes hitting a deer will cause death, either by people who swerve and hit a tree or by those who actually hit the deer. Children may be killed, paralyzed or injured too but again this is simply unavoidable. Remember, the SPORT is everything--we must worship it like God!! When your insurance rates again go up, remember the people in the SPORT didn't intentionally cause this! In many areas it will be legal to participate in the SPORT at night although vision at night is a bit of a problem--again there will be upsetting very loud noises and in some people who grew up with violence in the home or perhaps fought in a war it may even invoke a kind of terror but this will only be disturbing to the people living close to the area you are in although some noises from the SPORT will travel a very long distance--but all that goes with living in the country, right?

Shall we adopt this SPORT? Would any intelligent and reasonable person think we should? Of course they wouldn't!! Well, guess what--as I am sure you have figured out--we already have this "SPORT"--it's called hunting!!!

 Stories that outraged me I have read all over the US included a man taking his daughter hunting for the first time and accidentally killing another man right in front of her--what a lovely memory for her to live with--she won't forget her first hunting experience I assure you. A dog was found with an arrow through it down the road from us. One news story told of bullets being found inside an elementary schoolroom when hunting season began--my God, inside the schoolroom where kids could have been. In yet another terrifying story, a bullet came through a window very close to a baby's crib. The baby fortunately was not down for a nap then. After the anti-hunting letters in our area used these kinds of examples to illustrate why hunting is not a good thing, the next season no stories like that were told--just that hunting generates lots of money--who got to the media to silence them or do the hunting interests own part of the media??

Of course all hunters are not lawbreakers but the laws definitely favor hunters. I have also spoken to hunters who no longer hunt because of the increasing number of people who have a "me first" attitude and are a danger to themselves and others. Violence has occurred over a favorite hunting spot. Even law enforcement has been interviewed in our area and said on camera that car/deer accidents increase when hunting begins. Why does the hunting "Mafia" get to run everything and cause law-abiding taxpayers all kinds of problems when they are in the minority--answer: they have taken over virtually all state natural resources or wildlife management as well as all the laws concerning wildlife--it's like having the fox guard the chicken coop!! In some areas they are actively promoting hunting to women and children--to keep their "tradition" going? No, to keep their money from their hunting businesses flowing in.

Perhaps some "hunter" could explain to me how hunting is a sport of prowess and/or ability when the gear that is out there now is so high tech the animal doesn't have a chance. These "brave" guys and some gals go out and blow a duck call device to trick the duck or in some areas use baiting stations to attract animals, then blow them away. Or better yet visit a hunting ranch and pay big bucks to kill a trapped animal. Wow that takes a lot of bravery and ability, doesn't it? Or sit in a "blind" on your behind and just wait until some unsuspecting animal comes by. Just go ahead and kill anything you like and do anything you want because if you are out far enough it is unlikely anyone will see what you are doing--even commit murder, oops, forgot, that is what you are out there for anyway. If people like guns and want competition there are many areas where you can target shoot or trapshoot and there are even trophies for it too!!

A few years back I was walking down the hall of our home while alone at our house and looked out a window to see a man not dressed in hunting clothes come running onto our front porch carrying a shotgun. My heart stopped as I believed it was a home invasion and I might be killed until he propped the gun against the wall. I think my heart stopped beating in those few moments--it is just not right I should have to go through all this--where are our property rights??? It turned out this man was chasing a deer that he felt he had wounded. I told him we don't allow hunting on our land--I went outside and could find no blood or other signs a deer ran through our area. Later I learned this is often used as a ruse to gain access to your land. I am not fearful of guns--I worked with law enforcement. I am fearful of the mostly untrained people who use them while hunting--when a person who uses a gun to hunt has as much training as a police officer does (and even they make fatal mistakes), then I will feel more confident they won't nail me as I walk our long drive. We have had problems with hunters "shining" (using flashlights to shine in the animals eyes which causes them to freeze and then they can easily kill them), leaving litter of all kinds on our land, etc. I know every blast I hear means pain, suffering and death to a defenseless animal or a miss or is an accident waiting to happen. Now when out with our dogs even very close to the house and I hear a close shot I yell loudly "come here Killer, here boy!" or "honey get the gun, I think someone is on our land!" A loud voice may give these people an idea that they are getting too close to a residence. You can call the police and/or state regulatory agency too but often the person is gone by then. You confront some of them and you may be in danger. The only good news is the amount of shooting I am hearing goes down every year!

Please folks, realize what kind of world you create by teaching violence to children. Don't allow hunting interests into schools to teach them violence is a "SPORT." Ask yourself what kind of world you want your kids to grow up in! Not only for the humanity to all God's innocent creatures, but for our children.


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