Animals In Print
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From Animals in Print 3 December 2000 Issue:
FUR HEAVEN SENT
My dearest Stormy:
I bet you wonder how you got your name. Odd name for a little black fuzz wad, hun? Your mommy gave birth to you in a storm drain, out of harms way in her feline mind. We tried so hard to rescue you and your siblings but a summer storm only brought tears to our eyes. You apparently were the lone survivor.
Your mother you see, was a feral. She was born in the woods to another feral because someone was irresponsible and didn't spay or neuter their cat. Your Mom was elusive and didn't want to be loved...she never knew the love you came to know. Maybe she was just afraid. She'd come up and eat at the "Catnapen Buffet," but if I tried to pet her, she'd run off. She always came back though. I guess she sensed in the world she lived in, that the human who always fed her and made sure she and her friends had a warm place to sleep was really okay. If only she had trusted me just a little more....if only.
When you were just a tiny ball of furr, you came up and was nursing when mommy was eating. She was solid gray, she had beautiful green eyes, just like you did. Your daddy, I'm sure was "Darth Vader." A big solid black boy, long velvety furr, and a strong distrust of humans. Who could blame him? After all, he'd been abused or so it seems. He also was born in the feral forest....if only people were responsible. If only..........
Then one day, Stormy, you came up and found Lil Bitt. Lil Bitt, you see, is also a feral. The difference is Lil Bitt trusted me and he's been neutered and vaccinated. He didn't like to be confined to the indoors so reluctantly we let the feral boy back outside. He must have told you that it was okay to trust me. He showed you where the "cat house" was and took you there to get warm. Some humans call it a dog house, but we know better, it's a cat house.
At first, you didn't trust me either. You'd scamper up and eat but if I tried to pet you, you'd run back to the cat house. I'd watch out the window at night and see you sleeping soundly in the house for the ferals, the cat house. We sometimes call it the Kitty Condo so stupid humans don't get the wrong idea. I smiled when I saw you in the Kitty Condo. I was glad you were safe in a fenced yard, had a warm bed and a full tummy.
As fall approached and Halloween neared, you trusted me. You trusted me enough for a few days to get your head rubbed. You showed your gratitude for a full tummy by purring for me. Music to my ears Lil Stormy....Music........
The Friday before Halloween, I put the cat carrier outside. You came up to eat and I gave you your head rub and quickly put you in the carrier. You were so angry...but Lil Stormy, you needed me. I needed you. You visited Dr. Kathy and tears of joy streamed down my face when she said you were negative. You didn't understand why your Kitty Condo was replaced by the big room with a window and all the loving you could have. But in a days time, you were in my lap, purring. Purr you could do....so loud. You were a gorgeous girl, tiny petite, long shiny furr, beautiful green eyes. As the weeks wore on, I wanted you to have the perfect home. Word of mouth works so much better than advertisements. You didn't care, Lil Stormy. You had a playmate, Missy. You tested negative sweet girl, you didn't have Feline Leukemia or FIV. So Missy entered your world and played with you. Missy could be your sister, but we may never know. You and Missy played chase, you batted the ping pong ball for hours in the shower. You played "attack the kitty" under the door, you wrestled like kittens are supposed to do.
Then one horrible morning as I was rubbing you, I found those hideous knots on your neck. My heart plunged, I was so worried about you. You didn't understand why you went back to the doctor. You didn't understand why your playmate couldn't come and play. You just knew your furr was wet when I held you.
Dr. Kathy called me the day before Thanksgiving. I cried uncontrollably when she said the words, "I'm so sorry, Stormy has leukemia." NO! NO! NO! It can't be....she tested negative. Sadly, it was true. That's why your throat was so swollen. That's why you were coughing. My poor sweet Stormy, it wasn't supposed to be this way. You were supposed to go to a good home, grow up and be the "elegant kitty" I knew you would be. You were supposed to live a long healthy life.
You didn't understand when the little girl Morgan didn't come in to play with you. You didn't understand why your face was so wet when I held you. But you did understand Sweet Stormy that you were loved. You knew I loved you. You knew you were safe from harm. You purred for me that last night. You purred and purred and purred. For each purr, there were tears, tears that still fall.
On Friday, November 24, you purred for me the last time. It's almost as if you knew. When I opened the door to go outside, your purring stopped. I cried as I drove, holding you so tight. I cried as I said, "Leukemia, euthanasia." I sobbed uncontrollably. I cried because you looked so healthy. I cried uncontrollably because I knew you'd never grow up to be the elegant cat you were growing into being. I cried uncontrollably because people are irresponsible and now my heart was shattered. My Lil Stormy, my feral girl, my sweet sweet purr box Stormy, you were so sick.
Dr. Kathy said so gently, "I'm so sorry, but you are doing what is right." Why didn't it feel right Stormy? Why did God allow these horrible things to happen to such a innocent little life?
At approximately 8:15 a.m. I held you and told you I loved you over and over and over. I was sobbing...you didn't understand. You crawled up to my neck and nuzzled me. With one paw on one side of my neck, you comforted me. You told me you loved me with that precious little face. I told you "I'm sorry Stormy....I am so sorry. Samantha will be there to greet you at Rainbow Bridge. She will explain sweet girl. Go romp with the kittens, go play with Baby, go chase Schultz, go sit with Muffin and Samantha. You will be healthy again at Rainbow Bridge. I love you Stormy. I love you."
Dr. Halada gently covered you with the blanket. You passed over the gate to Rainbow Bridge in my arms, holding your beloved ping pong ball in your paws.
When Morgan came home today, she wrote a letter to Jesus. How did she know that her mommy wasn't telling her the whole truth? But she did know. Here's her letter to Jesus, Stormy.
I hope Stormy is still in good sape. Please make sure that she is at a or the perffect house for her. I am so glad that she dose not have locemea or FIV!! Becaus if she had locemea she would have to be put to sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love her so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so much.
Stormy, with tears in my eyes, I had to tell Morgan the truth. She cried and cried and cried for you Stormy. But she knows that you are healthy and playing with Samantha and Schultz and Baby. She loves you too Stormy.
I'm so sorry Stormy. You gave so much love in your short life. I can only pray that you know how much love it took to tell you good bye. You will never die in my heart Stormy. My memories of my sweet little feral girl are as beautiful as you were in life.
Rest in peace sweet Stormy. Rest in peace till we meet again.
Mommy Nancy and Morgan
For every pet spayed or neutered today, you save a broken heart tomorrow.
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