An Elmer's Code of Ethics
If an animal lives,
If it gets away,
hunt it down and kill it.
If it learns to adapt to humans,
hate it and kill it year ‘round.
If it becomes endangered,
kill its mother and put it in a zoo.
If an animal proves intelligent,
respect it then kill it.
If you think it dumb,
kill it and eat it.
If it simply is,
kill it because it’s there.
If anyone’s watching,
Just call it “conservation.”
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