How the Grinch Stole Hunting Season
By Jim Robertson
….It’s that time of year again….
Down in Hunt-ville
Liked hunting season a lot…
But the Grinch,
Who lives just North of Hunt-ville,
The Grinch hated hunting! The whole hunting season!
Now, please don’t ask why. There are many good reasons.
It could be because hunter’s heads aren’t screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that their belts are too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May be that their hearts (and other parts) are two sizes too small.
“They’re cleaning their guns!” the Grinch snarled with a sneer.grinch
“Tomorrow is hunting season! It’s practically here!”
Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
“I MUST find a way to keep hunting season from coming!”
For, tomorrow, he knew…
…All the Hunt-girls and boys
Would wake up bright and early. They’d rush for their toys!
Their rifles, their shotguns—all things that destroy!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
That’s one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then they’d carve up the body of some unfortunate beast,
Which was something the Grinch couldn’t stand in the least!
And they’d feast! And they’d feast!
And they’d FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
I MUST stop hunting season from coming!
Then he got an idea!
A brilliant idea!
GOT A WONDERFUL, BRILLIANT IDEA!
“I know just what to do!” The Grinch laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, “What a great Grinchy trick!
With this coat and this hat, I’ll look just like Saint Nick
And I’ll slide down their chimneys, empty bags in my fist,
AND I’LL STEAL ALL THEIR FUCKING AMMO!”