By Peter Muller, VP, C.A.S.H.
A hunter comes back from a hunting trip in total agony.
He runs to his doctor's office and says that his body hurts whenever
he touches it.
"Show me," says the doctor.
The hunter takes his finger and touches his elbow and
screams in agony. He then touches his knee and screams in double
agony, then he pushes into his ankle and screams in triple agony.
The doctor looks at him coldly and says, "You're
a hunter, aren’t you?"
Puzzled, he answers "Yes.”
"I thought so,” the doctor says. ”Your finger
is broken."
A hunter was down on his luck. In order to raise money,
he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
So he went to a playground, grabbed a kid, and took
him behind a tree. “I've kidnapped you!,” said the hunter. He then
proceeded to write a note saying, “I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow
morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag, and place it under the pecan
tree next to the playground.” He signs it, “A Hunter.”
The hunter then pinned the note to the kid's shirt
and sent him home to show his parents.
The next morning the hunter checked under the tree
and, sure enough, a paper bag was sitting there. The hunter opened
the bag and found $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do
this to a fellow hunter?”
There was an old hunter from Maine
Who was thought by his friends insane
When hunting for deer
He just filled up with beer
And sat down in a muddy terrain
Joe, a customer at Daffy’s Gun Shop marveled at the
proprietor's quick wit and intelligence. "Tell me, Daffy, what
makes you so smart? I won’t share your secret with anyone." Lowering
his voice so the other shoppers couldn’t hear, Daffy replies, "Since
you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on my secret.
It’s 357 Magnum bullets. You stick two new ones up your nose every
morning for one hour and you'll be positively brilliant."
"You sell them here?" Joe asks.
"Only $4 each," says Daffy.
Joe buys a dozen. A week later, he's back in the store
complaining that the 357 didn’t make him any smarter, and his wife
thought it was disgusting.
"You didn't do it long enough," explains
Daffy. Joe goes home with 20 more 357 Magnum bullets. Two weeks later,
he's back and this time he's really angry.
"Hey, Daffy," he says, "You're selling
me 357 Magnum bullets for $4 apiece when I can buy a whole box at
Sunset Sporting Goods for $2.75. You're ripping me off!"
"You see?" says Daffy. "You're smarter
already."
