BY PETER MULLER, V.P. C.A.S.H.
There was an old hunter from Maine
Who only had half a brain
When hunting for deer
He would fill up with beer
And stagger around in the rain.
Four married guys go hunting. After an hour, the following
conversation took place.
First guy: “You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out
hunting this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every
room in the house next weekend.”
Second guy: “That’s nothing. I had to promise my wife that I would
build her a new deck for the pool.”
Third guy: “Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that
I will remodel the kitchen for her.”
They continue to hunt when they realized that the fourth guy has not
said anything about what he had to do to be able to come hunting this
weekend. “What’s the deal?”
Fourth guy: “I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I
shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, “Hunting or sex?” and
she said, “Be sure to wear a sweater.”
There was an old hunter from Texas
Who drove into the woods with his Lexus
Since he couldn’t see
He drove up a tree
And injured his cervical plexus.
The following joke is by Ron Baker, VP C.A.S.H.:
A hunter, while standing next to his jeep late one day, placed the
wristwatch on his arm next to his ear.
He mumbled something and then unbuckled the watch. He slammed it
against the palm of his hand several times before once again placing it
next to his ear. Then he repeated the same process.
A twelve-year old boy happened to be walking by. He asked the hunter
what was wrong. “Ah, this darn watch ain’t working,” he grumbled. “Give
it to me,” the boy said. So the hunter handed his watch to the boy.
After holding the watch to his ear, the boy wound it several times. Then
he held it to his ear again and handed it back to the hunter. It works
fine now, the boy informed him.
The hunter held the watch to his ear and then stared at the boy
“Jeez,” the hunter marveled.
“You must be studyin’ mechanical engineerin’.”
WE KNOW YOU CAN DO BETTER, SO PLEASE SUBMIT YOUR JOKES TO:
C.A.S.H. Committee to Abolish Sports Hunting
P.O. Box 562
New Paltz, NY 12561
Or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org
You’ll be given full credit.