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Selected Articles from our
newsletter
The C.A.S.H. Courier
ARTICLE from the Spring 2008 Issue
Peter's Humor?
C.A.S.H. apologizes if you are not
amused.
Two hunters are following the tracks of a grizzly bear. All of a sudden,
the bear crashes out of the brush and heads right for them. They
scramble up the nearest tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree
after them. The first hunter starts taking off his heavy leather hiking
boots and pulls a pair of sleek running shoes from his back-pack. The
second hunter gives him a puzzled look and says, “What in the world are
you doing?” He replies, “I figure when the bear gets close to us, we’ll
jump down and make a run for it.” The second guy says, “Are you crazy?
We both know you can’t outrun a full-grown grizzly bear.” The first guy
says, “I don’t have to outrun the bear... I only have to outrun you!”
JJJ
Two hunting buddies, Joe and Jeremiah, went to the bar for a drink; they
sat on stools as the 6 o’clock news came on. A man was shown threatening
to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge and Joe bet Jeremiah $50 that he
wouldn’t jump.
Sure enough, he jumped, so Joe gave Jeremiah $50. Jeremiah said, “I
can’t take this, we’re hunting buddies and you’re my friend.” But Joe
insisted, saying, “No. a bet’s a bet.”
Finally the winner confessed: “Listen, I have to tell you that I saw
this on the 5 o’clock news, so I can’t take your money.”
Joe replied “Well, so did I, but I didn’t think he would jump again.”
JJJ
A
group of wannabe hunters were taking their final test after taking the
hunting safety course. Finally, with a lot of help from the instructor,
they all got a passing score except for one who didn’t seem to get
anything right.
The instructor was about to fail him but all his classmates pleaded “Aw
come-on give him another chance.”
Moved by such a display of class loyalty, the instructor relented and
said – “Okay, I’ll just ask you a simple math question: “How much is
57+2?”
The hunter-candidate thought for a while and finally answered “55.”
Immediately the others again pleaded “Aw come-on, give him another
chance.”
“Ok how much is 42 +3” This time he thought long and hard and finally
came up with “39.” the other applicants again pleaded “Aw come-on give
him another chance.”
The instructor looked chagrined and said “Ok – but this is positively
your last chance – how much is 2 +1?” After consulting the fingers on
his hand he proudly announced “3.”
Immediately the others pleaded “Aw come-on give him another chance.”
JJJ
A
hunter had been hunting in Alaska. Upon his return, he came down with a
terrible illness. After his health had deteriorated, his wife took him
to a doctor who specialized in Alaskan hunting diseases.
The doctor gave him a complete examination and a series of tests. After
receiving the results of the tests, he told the hunter’s wife, “Your
husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible
stress. Here’s what you have to do: “Each morning, fix him a healthy
breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch
make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal
for him. Don’t burden him with chores, and generally do anything he
asks. Don’t discuss your problems with him, as it will only make his
stress worse. If you can do that for the next three months or so, he has
good chance to recover. Otherwise he’ll probably die.”
On the way home, the hunter asked his wife. “What did the doctor say?”
She replied. “Honey.....he says you’re probably going to die.”
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