The wife of an avid hunter felt that their life together was very
empty. They had nothing in common – he would just go on endlessly
about hunting. She tried to interest him in books and art – but that
wasn’t going anyplace. After asking around among her friends – the
consensus seemed to be that they should get a pet that they could both
She adopted a rabbit from a neighbor and surprised him with it.
He wasn’t all that delighted. His first question was, “What about the
poop? Who is going to clean up after him?” His wife explained that
rabbits could be litter-trained.
“What will he eat?” the hunter wanted to know. His wife replied, “We can
get rabbit –food at the super-market.”
Then the hunter asked, “Where will he sleep?” “He can sleep in bed with
us,” the wife responded.
At that point the hunter curled up his nose and asked, “What about the
She smiled and replied, “oh – don’t worry about it – I got used to it and
so will he.’”
A farmer who was constantly harassed by hunters during the hunting
season took a vacation to Italy.
While browsing around an antique store in Rome, he saw a striking brass
statue of a rat. He asked the shop-keeper how much it was. The man smiled
and told him that the statue was $12 but the story that went with it was
another $75. The farmer paid him the $12 and told him he could keep the
As he walked down the street carrying his brass rat, he noticed that a
few real rats began following him down the street. This was disconcerting,
so he began walking faster. But within a couple of blocks, the pack of rats
behind him had grown to hundreds, and they began squealing.
He began to trot toward the catacombs, looking around to see that the
rats now numbered in the MILLIONS, and were squealing, almost shrieking, and
coming toward him faster and faster. Concerned, even scared, he ran to the
edge of the catacombs, and threw the brass rat as far into the catacombs as
Amazingly, the millions of rats all ran into the catacombs after it, and
dispersed throughout the underground passageways.
Relieved, he caught his breath and walked back to the store. The
shopkeeper smiled and guessed, “Oh – I see you’ve come back for the story.”
The farmer shook his head – “Never mind the story — do you happen to have a
brass statue of a hunter?”
A totally self-centered, materialistic multi-billionaire hunter drove
up in his brand new limo to the Safari Club in Reno to accept the 2009
World Trophy Hunting Award. He had been on Safari for most of last
year shooting in the most luxurious canned hunt facilities around the
He planned to park his limo conspicuously to show it off to his fellow
trophy hunters along with his Gucci shoes and his Versace sweatshirt.
As he got out, a truck came along and completely tore off the limo’s
A policeman, who happened to be across the street came running over to
The trophy-hunter started screaming hysterically. His limo, which he had
just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be
the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again.
After he finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in
disgust and disbelief. “I can’t believe how materialistic you guys are,” he
“You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the really
important things in life.”
“How can you say such a thing?” asked the hunter.
The cop replied, “My gosh, don’t you even realize that your left arm is
missing? It got ripped off when the truck hit you!!!” “Oh My God!” screamed
the hunter....”Find my Rolex!”