The C.A.S.H. Courier Newsletter
Winter 2012 Issue
Ask Uncle Joe...
Would you rather snail mail your question? Send it
to:
Ask Uncle Joe
PO Box 13815
Las Cruces NM 88013
Uncle Joe gets a lot of mail so don't be offended if
he cannot answer your question in the Courier. Heck, he's gotta work a day
job, too.
Letters are printed as received. They are unedited.
Dear Uncle Joe:
“We strive to engender
citizen outrage…” I think this snippet from your mission statement is
telling. Engender outrage? Why? To keep the money machine going?
Garth,
(Location undisclosed)
Dear Garth,
As I’m sure you’ve
heard the phrase “If you’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention,” let
me inform you of the things that you’re not paying attention to. We’re
outraged over:
- Harmless wildlife mercilessly wounded and left to suffer
and die. They include those who were injured through careless shots
and those who were shot in the face and in other body parts that hunters
know will not lead to a lethal shot.
- Trespassing hunters who violate
the rights of those who ban them from their property.
- Hunters harassing
property owners by leaving the entrails of murdered animals on their cars,
porches, etc.
- The obscene number of human injuries and deaths that
result from legal hunting.
- State hunting clubs (masquerading as
wildlife agencies) that create wildlife overpopulation and the problems
associated with it in an effort to appease the hunting community.
- Hunters who drive down public roads with the carcasses of murdered animals
hanging out of the back of their gas-guzzling trucks.
- Animals who come
home dragging steel traps clamped on their mangled limbs.
- Litter in the
form of tangled fishing gear, empty beer cans, and other assorted garbage
that you slob, self-appointed “environmentalists” leave behind.
- Hunting
dogs who were abandoned in the woods because they were not good enough for
you to hunt with, or at the end of hunting season prompting calls from
veterinarians asking us if we know of any rescue groups who can take in
these poor dogs
Need I say more?
When our emotions are stirred to the
point of outrage, great things can be accomplished. In American
history it was this outrage that sparked the women’s suffrage movement, the
civil rights movement, the gay rights movement, and the animal rights
movement. When this outrage is focused and channeled into a course of
action it can be an unstoppable force, and it is the power of this outrage
that we wish to harness and use to protect wildlife from those who would do
them unnecessary harm. Stay tuned.
Peace,
Uncle Joe
Hey Knuckleheads:
If you don’t agree with hunting then you better be a vegetarian. Also, if
it wasn’t for modern technology you wouldn’t be able to survive because your
definitely to weak to be able to provide for yourself.
Marc,
Oakland, OR
And this gem….
Joe:
What’s wrong with eating NATURAL!!!! food that was not put
together in a labratory by some skinny vegans in lab coats? the game i eat
is the most natural food there is and its not the artifical soybean stuff
that you p;eople eat. do you ever see a healthy vegetarian i sure don’t.
your teeth will fall out ha ha
James,
Walden, OR
Dear Marc and James,
I’d like to address both of your letters together since you’re arguing
against each other and probably don’t realize how silly you are. Marc
seems to imply that we’re against “modern technology,” yet James says (in a
nutshell) that we should eschew modern technology and eat like our
knuckle-dragging ancestors did before the advent of toothbrushes.
Perhaps since you guys live not too far from each other you should get
together and get your story straight? Marc would probably be OK with
using his modern technology to drive to James’ house, but James would most
likely prefer to walk to see Marc. No problem – you guys can work it
out.
Those who wish to avoid “artificial soybean stuff” can feed themselves
very well without having to hunt, and those who prefer to use “modern
technology” (like microwave ovens and slow cookers) can do the same. The
commonality is that neither James nor Marc need to hunt to feed themselves
(as evidenced by the greater than 95% of the American population that does
not hunt and has not already starved themselves to death).
As far as my being too weak to provide for myself, did you know that I
once tried out for the U.S. Olympic Weightlifting Team? Well, not
really, but I’m still plenty strong enough to handle the garden chores and
cook myself dinner.
Sincerely,
Uncle Joe
JOe, I’m not calling you Uncle Joe. Get Real,
anyone who doesnt want
hunting around is (a homophobic slur) lol. its a way of life, it has been
for generations before us and will be for many generations after us. bunch
of animal loving (misogynistic slur). i dont care what u Guyana think bcc ur
not young to get huning banned, lol like i aaid before u parenta must be
proud to raise a bnch of (misogynistic slur).
Noah,
Writing from youre mothers house. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Dear Noah,
I see that woman hating and homophobia go hand in hand with hunting,
don’t they? Yes, hunting has been around for generations but have you
ever heard of a thing called change? No? Do you still want to be
accusing women of witchcraft and hanging them? Probably. Please get at
least a third-grade education. If you can’t do that, please at least
learn how to use spellcheck.
Regards,
Uncle Joe
Go on to
Peter's Humor
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