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The C.A.S.H. Courier Newsletter

Fall-Winter 2013 Issue
Peter's Humor

There was a truck driver, who every time he saw a hunter walking along the edge of the road, would swerve his truck and run over the hunter.

One day, while making his deliveries, the driver saw a kindly old priest walking along the roadway on his way to the mission. He pulled over and asked the priest if he would like a ride. The old priest said, "Why, yes, thank you."

As they were driving, the truck driver saw a hunter walking along and instinctively swerved to hit him, but remembered the priest was riding with him. He swerved back on the road and kept going but heard a loud, "thump."

He checked his rearview mirror and saw nothing... he said to the priest, "I'm sorry, Father, I almost hit that hunter." The old priest responded, "Don't worry, my son, I got him with my door."

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Three hunters were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks. The first hunter looked down at the tracks and said, "I think they could be bear tracks." The second hunter went to look and said, "No, I think these are deer tracks." As the third hunter went over to look at the tracks, he was run over by a train.

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An applicant for a hunting license was taking the final exam of the mandatory hunting safety course.  The final examination consisted of "True/False" type questions.  He stares at the questions for five minutes, and is totally confounded. In a fit of inspiration he takes out a coin and starts flipping the coin and marking "True" for Heads and "False" for Tails. Within half an hour he is all done. But then he starts flipping the coin again, uttering curses and sweating. The monitor approaches him and asks what is going on. He explains "I finished the exam but I'm rechecking my answers."

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A hunter was a witness to a shooting that had killed another hunter in the field. He went to the police station to help identify the suspect. To establish the hunter's credibility as a witness, the police chief said he would show him a mug shot of someone for thirty seconds, and then ask him for a description.

After showing a photo to the hunter, he covered it up and asked him how he would recognize the suspect. "Easy," he replied. "He only has one eye." The chief was perturbed. "He only has one eye because it is a profile shot! Think about it! Let's try it again" He repeated the procedure with a different picture and again asked how he would recognize him."He only has one ear," the hunter declared proudly.

"What is the matter with you?!? It is a profile shot! You are seeing him from the side!" He repeated the procedure one more time, and asked again, "How would you recognize the suspect? Now think before you give me a stupid answer."

After viewing the photo, the hunter thought for a long time, finally he said, "He's wearing contact lenses."

This took the chief by surprise. He looked at the picture and couldn't tell whether the suspect was wearing contacts or not.  He went into the database and looked at the report. Sure enough, when the mug shot was taken, he was wearing contact lenses! He went back to the hunter and asked, "How could you tell he was wearing contact lenses? Nobody else here in this precinct saw that!"

"Well, "the hunter explained "he can't wear regular glasses with only one eye and one ear, now, can he?"

Fans of Peter's humor:

 

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