• Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 5:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
• If it's really a "rush job," run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps.
• Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
• If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is the priority. Let me guess.
• Do your best to keep me late. I like the office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do.
• If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. Leaks like that could cost me a promotion.
• If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversation.
• If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done.
• Never introduce me to the people you're with. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.

Is This What They Mean By "Multi-tasking"?

Getting dressed. Flossing. Putting on make-up and shaving. For thousands of Americans, these are all part of the typical morning grind-while driving. Many of the 15,000 people who responded to an informal Pennzoil survey admitted to doing a variety of personal chores while marooned in rush-hour traffic.

• 46% admitted to killing time in traffic reading.
• About a quarter of the respondents admitted changing clothes.
• 46% of women admitted applying makeup behind the wheel. �
• 17% of men said they'd tied their ties. Broken out by age, the survey reported that Americans tend to concentrate more on the road the older they get.

Respondent's aged 56 and older reported doing fewer extracurricular activities than younger counterparts. Geographically, the survey found that Texans read much more than Californians and that Southerners are more likely to groom themselves than drivers along the coasts.

-from the AP

Use your time more efficiently with these tips:

• Shorten your "to-do" list to "must-dos." A shorter list will energize you because it looks doable. To decide what tasks rate as "must-dos," answer the questions about each: "What will happen if I do this?" "What will happen if I don't?"
• Assume you'll get voice mail every time you call someone. You'll be prepared to leave a brief but detailed message that says exactly what you need from the person.
• Vow to spend an hour a month on "mess maintenance," and stick to that schedule without fail. Suggestion: Set a kitchen timer for 60 minutes. Sort, file or purge paper and computer files. Get rid of other materials you no longer need. You'll be amazed at how much you can do in that hour.
• Keep a box in your desk or other location. Each time you file, pass on or trash something that lessens the litter in your area, drop a quarter in the box. At the end of the month, buy yourself a treat.

- from communication briefings

It's The Truth!

A man was filling out an application for a job and came to the question: "Have you ever been arrested?" His answer was "No." The next question, intended for those who answered the preceding question in the affirmative, was "Why?" Nevertheless, the applicant answered it with, "Never got caught."

-from The Executive Speechwriter Newsletter

Great Truths About Life That Little Children Have Learned

• When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
• If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
• Never ask your 3-year-old brother to hold a tomato. � You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
• Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
• Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a Tic Tac.
• Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.
• School lunches stick to the wall.
• You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
• The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma's lap.