A helpful Solicitor & his Wife
The most eager lady to challenge me over appointing a
farm labourer, as churchwarden was the likeable wife of a leading local
solicitor. She had nothing whatever against the character of the man I
had chosen; simply that he was hardly suitable in such a cultured
parish. Indeed, the gentle Lady Lee of Lees steel works; the young
daughter of the Dame of Sark and dear Mrs Peach of the Sheffield steel
works: ‘Steel, Peach & Tozers’ were of a more tolerant opinion. However,
I had cause to be grateful for the solicitor’s wife as well as himself.
At a highly charged and aerated church council meeting - where one could
have cut the atmosphere with a knife –1’d affirmed that evil was coming
from one quarter of the room. I turned to the ex-churchwarden and said:
“the evil is coming from you Sir!” Subsequently, unknown to myself, the
gentleman farmer sought to sue me for defamation, but the solicitor,
with difficulty, persuaded him not to do so as it would bring disrepute
on the whole parish. Consequently, his wife cornered me outside the
lichgate so as to ‘put me in the picture’ in strictest confidence
I felt I was like Peter Sellers
I sense the only bit of true humour that came out of
such a turbulent post was that hardly had my new churchwarden been
appointed by myself than did he appear, of necessity, to be seek ing for
a change of employment. Within around three months and he was no longer
a farm labourer but rather a council employee working on the side of the
roads and trimming hedges. Even I was somewhat taken back! And when I
reasoned to some startled parishioners that Jesus Himself was a manual
worker of His day, it appeared as if I had broken no ice at all
Indeed, my radicalism hardly improved after the
second of two marriages had taken place in the major of the two
churches. The first marriage – true to local tradition - involved
rolling out the red carpet and the ringing of bells, for the sweet bride
was a local squire’s daughter. ‘Well’, I reasoned, ‘shouldn’t the second
marriage a week or two later - that of a lass from one of the few
council houses - have the same extras?’ So, without extra cost, I saw to
it that the second wedding was equally as memorable as the former.
Then it was that, at the next monthly Church Council
Meeting, the Vet - whose car registration plate read ‘Vet Number One’ –
rose to his feet with the help of sticks - to criticise my impartiality.
I sense I just couldn’t win! Was not my ministry and parish similar to
that of the late Peter Seller’s situation in that laughable Ealing
production: ‘HEAVENS ABOVE’? The only difference was that his
blockbuster of a comedy was a fictitious farce of a decade or so
previous. As for my stand, it was stunningly real. He could get away
from the situation by flying into space, but I had made this bed and no
matter how uncomfortable the hunting, shooting and intensive farming
fraternity had combined to make it, I must lie on it..
.
- to be continued.