[Ed. Note: Please read Dylan - A Dairy Calf...]
Being locked up is one thing, but to have no
concept of confinement, to be ignorant of its
terms and never understand that struggle is useless - that's what hell must
- David Sedaris
How would you like to live your entire life
in one of these housing units?
"Calf-Tel Deluxe II System"
It may be dark, and your movements might be limited, and there is no indoor plumbing and the bouquet gets quite challenging, but it is economical.
The housing unit comes with a ten year warranty, but at 23 square feet, your confinement will last for only about 18 weeks. After that, your flesh will mature and turn from white to red. You must die before the age of 20 weeks to prevent your muscles strengthening so that you are harvested into soon-to-be easy-to-chew portions for epicureans.
You soon are to be sauteed with the fatty portion of your mother's milk, and then broiled with her concentrated lactations which men convert into cheese, a process prohibited by those who observe more compassionate dietary laws such as Kashrut (Islam) and Kosher (Judaism). Such people have ethically determined that to serve the child in the same meal with the milk of his mother lacks a basic human morality.
Be thankful that your torturous and confining life lasts for just five months. In Japan, Kobe beef cattle spend 42 months in similar solitary confinement. See: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/notmilk/message/2837
Veal Parmigiana is delicious. Dine at a fine Italian restaurant and eat a slice of the anemic creature who once resided here. Accept the responsibility for your dinner.
I'll have the pasta marinara...
We fear violence less than our own feelings.
Personal, private, solitary pain is more
terrifying than what anyone else can inflict.
- Jim Morrison