Canned Beans
A Collection of Religious and Other Humor from All-Creatures.org

It is our hope that this collection of humor will help make us laugh at ourselves, and hopefully live a more compassionate cruelty-free lifestyle.

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Submitted by Maynard S. Clark - 22 Sep 2002

Convenience is important for a modern world
From going to the grocery to the flag unfurled.
It's gotta be easy 'cause there's so much to do.
And a savory can of beans is something we all can do.

CHORUS:
Can of beans!    Can of beans!
We're saving up our money when we have more means.
Then we'll have much more commodious scenes 
It'll all be because of our cans of beans.

All of us can open a can of tasty beans.
I think you all know what that simple thought means.
Convenience makes them ideal for single guys and gals.
You can eat the beans alone or maybe share them with pals.

CHORUS:
Can of beans!    Can of beans!
We're saving up our money when we have more means.
Then we'll have much more commodious scenes 
It'll all be because of our cans of beans.

They're low in fat, with nourishment to spare.
Proteins and carbos are balanced in there.
The fiber is terrific, and that's what's inside.
When you go to the grocery bring them back for the ride.

CHORUS:
Can of beans!    Can of beans!
We're saving up our money when we have more means.
Then we'll have much more commodious scenes 
It'll all be because of our cans of beans.

The labels are terrific, but it's really what's inside.
When you go to the grocery bring them back for the ride.
What do you now have?  Hey, a can of beans?
I think you all know what a can of beans means.

CHORUS:
Can of beans!    Can of beans!
We're saving up our money when we have more means.
Then we'll have much more commodious scenes 
It'll all be because of our cans of beans.

You didn't dine out in a high-priced dive?
No, my can of beans helps me to thrive.
15-32 ounces of store-brand legumes
We can open those cans in our respective rooms.

CHORUS:
Can of beans!    Can of beans!
We're saving up our money when we have more means.
Then we'll have much more commodious scenes 
It'll all be because of our cans of beans.

The proteins and the carbos are balanced in there.
You can eat the beans alone or be good enough to share.
They're cholesterol-free, low cost, with protein to spare
When I visit the grocery, I'm glad they are there.

CHORUS:
Can of beans!    Can of beans!
We're saving up our money when we have more means.
Then we'll have much more commodious scenes 
It'll all be because of our cans of beans.

Fiber, protein, vitamins, and savory tastes, too.
A can of tasty beans is something all of us can do.
Three cans for a dollar, or maybe only two.
A savory can of beans is something we all can do.

CHORUS:
Can of beans!    Can of beans!
We're saving up our money when we have more means.
Then we'll have much more commodious scenes 
It'll all be because of our cans of beans.

They nourish our bodies with the planet's wondrous bounties.
Densely-populated cities draw from distant rural counties.
It's gotta be easy 'cause there's so much to do.
And a savory can of beans is something we all can do.

CHORUS:
Can of beans!    Can of beans!
We're saving up our money when we have more means.
Then we'll have much more commodious scenes 
It'll all be because of our cans of beans.

Convenience is important for a modern world
From going to the grocery to the thrilling flag unfurled.
It's gotta be easy 'cause there's so much to do.
And a savory can of beans is something we all can do.

CHORUS:
Can of beans!    Can of beans!
We're saving up our money when we have more means.
Then we'll have much more commodious scenes 
It'll all be because of our cans of beans.

A tasty can of beans, you know what that means.
dig the scenes
live within our means
Delicious cans of beans.
Enhanced with scrumptious greens
Meal in a minute; let's think what's in it.

CHORUS:
Can of beans!    Can of beans!
We're saving up our money when we have more means.
Then we'll have much more commodious scenes 
It'll all be because of our cans of beans.

Beans nourish our bodies with lots of what's good for us.
Think about these blessings when we do the next chorus.
Vitamins, fiber, proteins, and more makes them win, It
is a meal in a minute; and there's so much in it.

CHORUS:
Can of beans!    Can of beans!
We're saving up our money when we have more means.
Then we'll have much more commodious scenes 
It'll all be because of our cans of beans.

I love the greens; enjoy them with a can of beans.
We can live within our means because we have delicious cans of beans.
Seniors and juniors can enjoy them with little work.
And that convenience is a major perk.

CHORUS:
Can of beans!    Can of beans!
We're saving up our money when we have more means.
Then we'll have much more commodious scenes 
It'll all be because of our cans of beans.

Vegetables, fruits, grains, and legumes
But you know what everyone else assumes.
Yet beans kill no one, and they're full of protein, too.
No harm to the animals or us.  That's what we can do.

CHORUS:
Can of beans!    Can of beans!
We're saving up our money when we have more means.
Then we'll have much more commodious scenes 
It'll all be because of our cans of beans.

They vary in taste and food values, but they're all very good.
A gold mine of nourishment, think beans as should and could.
There are hundreds of different kinds of beans.
Beans are nature's diversity is what that means.

CHORUS:
Can of beans!    Can of beans!
We're saving up our money when we have more means.
Then we'll have much more commodious scenes 
It'll all be because of our cans of beans.

My parents always said that the reason folks are rich
Is they don't use it wastefully.  Can (Do) you hear my pitch?
When you listen to the radio investment shows.
You can savor precooked beans while the conversation goes (and goes).

CHORUS:
Can of beans!    Can of beans!
We're saving up our money when we have more means.
Then we'll have much more commodious scenes 
It'll all be because of our cans of beans.

Now that we're retired and the spouse has died.
I'm making my own meals in the way I've always tried.
I have a trusty can opener that digs into the rim
Of the can of beans I've chosen, and you know I'm not dim.

CHORUS:
Can of beans!    Can of beans!
We're saving up our money when we have more means.
Then we'll have much more commodious scenes 
It'll all be because of our cans of beans.

GRAND CHORUS:
Cans of beans!    Cans of beans!
We're saving up our money when we have much more means.
When we're ready to enjoy those more commodious scenes 
We'll still be opening up our favorite cans of beans.

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