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HUMOR ARCHIVES

On this page you will find some of the items, thoughts and messages that were submitted to the Veg-Christian@all-creatures.org E-mail discussion group, or to all-creatures.org.

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Christian Lightbulb Jokes

Q: How many charismatics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, since his hands are in the air anyway.
A: Three, one to cast it out and two to catch it when it falls!
A: Twenty one, one to change it, and twenty to share the experience!

Q: How many Calvinists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. God has predestined when the lights will be on.

Q: How many liberals does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 10, as they need to hold a debate into whether or not the lightbulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the lightbulb they may not go ahead and change it for fear of alienating those who use fluorescent tubes.

Q: How many Anglo-Catholics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They always use candles instead.

Q: How many evangelicals does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Evangelicals do not change lightbulbs. They simply read out the instructions and hope the lightbulb will decide to change itself.

Q: How many Atheists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One. But they are still in darkness.

Q: How many Brethren does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Change?????

Q: How many Pentecostals does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 10, one to change it and 9 others to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Q: How many TV evangelists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One. But for the message of hope to continue to go forth, send in your donation today.

Q: How many campfire worship leaders does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One. But soon all thoses around can warm up to its glowing.

Q: How many independent baptist's does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one, anymore than that would be considered ecumenical.

Q: How many Episcopalians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 10. One to actually change the bulb and 9 to say how much they like the old one.

Q: How many Pentecostals does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 25. One to screw in the new lamp. Two dozen to bind the powers of darkness.

Q: How many Presbyterians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Well, it should require about five committees to review the idea first. If each is staffed with half a dozen members, that's what ... 30?

Q: How many members of the church of Christ does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 5. One to change the bulb, 4 to serve refreshments.

Q: How many conservative Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to change it and two to storm out in protest if the person changing it is a woman.!

Q: How many Calvinists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. If God wants the lightbulb changed He will do it Himself!

Q: How many missionaries does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 10. Five to determine how many can be changed by the year 2000, four to raise the necessary funds, one to go find a national to do the job!

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