The Mary T. and
Frank L. Hoffman
Family Foundation
and All-Creatures.Org

Letters and Responses

Letter from Judy V. Smith About Mourning the Death of Lil Bit - 19 Jul 2008

My kitty was my child, mama cat Never nursed her, I nursed her, bathed her bottom, vaselined and powered her, mama cat abandoned her so her bottom had NO mama cat to keep her from "diaper rash".

She never left my side for 16 years. She followed my every step. Even my restroom could not keep her out. I loved her so very much.

My sister says, ''you still crying over that cat?''

She was tiny, black and white and her name was "LIL (little) BIT". It's been almost 2 years since she died, and she was sick for 3 weeks before. Had lung cancer, went so fast, I have her ashes on my night table. Please give me some advice on what to do to get out of this desperate state. I still talk to her. I still cry daily for her, I know this deep sadness I am living is not normal for this long and deep hurting.

Thank you kindly for all you can do to keep from slitting my wrists.

Judy

Reply from Frank and Mary Hoffman

Dear Judy:

Thank you for writing, and we do our best to help.

We know the feelings of loss that you feel, as we've been there many times ourselves. Mourning seems to take it's own time, and there's nothing 'normal' about its course.

From what you wrote, other family members don't seem to understand that you lost your child. Lil Bit was not 'just a cat', she was your child and the lose you feel is no different than any mother would feel if their baby died of cancer.

One thing that might help is to write Lil Bit's story and the personal relationship that you had together. We'd also be happy to publish it, along with any photos you may have on our web site as a lasting memorial. Doing something like this will also help you focus more on the good times in your live together, and it is these memories that will help your heart heal.

We hope this helps, and we want you to know that we are always here to help in any way we can.

In the Love of the Lord,

Frank and Mary

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