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Animal Rights/Vegan Activists' Strategies

My Mixed Marriage: Vegan/Omnivore Love

From Jennifer Baker, MainStreet Vegan.com
December 2024

When I watch the change, it brings me great joy each time he chooses to take his plant-based lunch to work without me forcing it. Since he is the primary (and excellent) cook, I reap the benefits of amazing vegan meals that we can both enjoy.

In a world where shared values often hold relationships together, navigating a marriage where one partner is now Vegan and the other an omnivore charters unfamiliar territory. My husband and I met 28 years ago while he was stationed in California with the Navy. I fell in love with someone who was the opposite of anyone I had ever met before—especially when it came to our upbringings and worldviews. Our dietary differences were something neither of us anticipated would play a significant role in our relationship. As time went on, we realized that this distinction would shape our lives in ways we hadn’t imagined, especially when I became a vegan.

A Fork in the Road

Our upbringings and perspectives couldn’t have been more different. My husband was raised on an Iowa farm, where food centered around meat was a way of life, while I had long dreamed of becoming vegetarian. At that time, I didn’t eat beef or pork, which already strangely set me apart.

Our dietary differences became particularly evident the first time we got together with his family. Let’s just say it was uncomfortable—this talkative, boisterous Southern California blonde who didn’t fit the mold had arrived. The tension in the room was palpable as I tried to navigate a situation where my food choices were in stark contrast to what everyone else considered normal. It was clear that these differences ran deeper than just what was on our plates.

Learning to Adapt…Sort Of?

Over time, we learned to compromise—sometimes cooking separate meals or experimenting with vegetarian recipes he was willing to try. Raising two boys, we navigated the logistics while maintaining respect for each other’s preferences. Knowing what I know now about the animal food I consumed makes me feel inauthentic in my passion and love for animals then, since I still consumed them and used products from them. Can you imagine what happened when I became vegan??

Respecting Differences

Our marriage thrives on mutual respect. My husband has never pressured me to abandon veganism, and I’ve worked to grow out of my frustrated evangelical vegan phase into a more compassionate vegan who leads by example. Progress has come gradually—he’s adopted considerably more plant-based meals and eliminated a large portion of meats from his regular diet after noticing the health and energy effects. When I watch the change, it brings me great joy each time he chooses to take his plant-based lunch to work without me forcing it. Since he is the primary (and excellent) cook, I reap the benefits of amazing vegan meals that we can both enjoy.

My training at the Main Street Vegan Academy helped me articulate my beliefs and provided tools to share them effectively, backing me with exceptional knowledge. I learned valuable insights into nutrition, animal rights, and how to advocate for a compassionate lifestyle. I’ve stopped focusing solely on converting him, choosing instead to share ideas and information that resonate with him, making room for deeper mutual respect.

The Bigger and Enlightened Picture

Living in a mixed-diet marriage has challenged both of us to be more thoughtful and compassionate, not just toward animals and the environment, but toward each other, which felt harder to do at times. It has deepened our understanding of the values we each hold dear in our food choices. For me, it’s about living a life aligned with compassion for animals. For my husband, it’s primarily about eating to improve his health. Although, as he learns more about what our world and the beings in at are suffering through, things are starting to shift again.

Love is about more than agreement. It’s about navigating differences and finding ways to support one another. We are living proof that a vegan and an omnivore can not only make a relationship work but also thrive and grow as a couple, even when facing significant challenges. The journey of navigating our differences has shown us that harmony isn’t effortless—it’s about expanding our understanding of ourselves and each other, lifting one another up as we move through life together.

This journey of mutual respect and understanding reminds us that the same principles we practice in our relationships can be applied to how we engage with the world—embracing differences, fostering compassion, and creating connections that inspire growth and harmony.

Jennifer Baker has a lifelong passion for animals, growing up wanting to work with them. After 31 years as a school director, careers in advertising and translation, Jennifer became an ordained Animal Chaplain through the Compassion Consortium and now applies her deep passion for supporting animals and people full-time.

Based in Prescott, AZ, Jennifer runs Paws for Compassion, her animal chaplaincy business dedicated to strengthening the human-animal bond through grief support, blessings, and other compassionate services. She serves as Director of Engagement for the Compassion Consortium, fostering connections among members and chaplain alumni, supporting the organization’s mission, community spirit, and outreach.

A proud graduate of Main Street Vegan Academy, Jennifer continues to grow in her journey of compassion, striving each day to create a more peaceful and loving world for all beings.

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Posted on All-Creatures.org: December 12, 2024
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