Ben DeVries Not One Sparrow
Slugger passed on Thursday, two days ago, about 4:00 PM at the vet. They think he had a latent FIP virus, which awoke through the stress of the urinary tract blockage and treatment. It's been a gut-wrenching couple of days ...
I couldn't stop petting him or holding my head to his after he was given the serum (at death's door), and I couldn't drive away from the vet when we finally walked out. I sobbed and sobbed, and again as I buried him in the overgrown field behind the apartment (a beautiful spot), in pouring rain.
I miss him everywhere I look in the house, and still cry the two times I've gone back to his grave. I feel so sorry for having taken him for granted, especially in recent weeks and months before his condition started, and that I couldn't prevent his suffering or make him well. And I feel such a hole, especially not knowing if God has taken him back to himself for us to meet again or not. I so badly want to know if I'll see him again ...
He was such a good, patient cat, with all of us, including Bitsy, and it hurts to know Jadon will not get to grow up with him. But it occurred to me more clearly today how much of a family member and friend he's been, and to me. I don't have close friends (or keep them close to me), at least not consistently, but he was always there to come home to.
I love you Bubba, so much ... I miss you terribly. And I'm so sorry your life ended so soon, and so suddenly ... I'd give about anything to have you home for a long time to come, like we never expected you wouldn't be.
God, it's hard to feel you in all of this. I sometimes think you must have loved him more than we did. I pray that this is true, even though I don't understand what happened to him, or to us. I pray that his life which you so lovingly created, and gave to all of us as a gift, that you've taken it back to yourself, and that you will preserve him for us to reunite someday again. I pray that he's loved, and cherished, and snuggled with, and cared for now ... please.
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away ... 'He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.'
He who was seated on the throne said, 'I am making everything new!' Then he said, 'Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.'
... He who testifies to these things says, 'Yes, I am coming soon.' Amen. Come, Lord Jesus."
(Revelation 21: 1, 4-5; 22:20)
Return to Mourning the Death of a Loved One Is the Same for Both Humans and Other Animals