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Nine Signs You’re at a Paul Ryan Rally

November 2015

Nine Signs You’re at a Paul Ryan Rally:

9) All the babies are in cammo diapers

8) Senior citizens seen fleeing in mortal fear

7) Secret service guys are the only ones carrying concealed weapons

6) Has-beens, wanna-bes and never-weres (such as Ted Nugent and Kid Rock) are crowding the stage, hoping someone will recognize them

5) Rapists are handing out cigars, in the tradition of proud fathers everywhereChrysanthemum

4) The candidate looks like a scary version of Eddie Munster

3) Fang marks left on all the babies he’s kissed

2) Instead of shaking hands with voters, Ryan is trading deer sausage recipes

1) Some Bubba is going around bragging, “I bought my 10 year-old girl a rifle and I’m gonna teach her how to kill a deer this year!”—wait a minute, that’s the candidate!

wild deer
Image by Jim Robertson, Animals in the Wild



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