Comments from our Readers
Last week we ran an article titled What I'm really thinking: the
vegan, and we asked our members to share with us about their experience
when sharing a meal with non-veg*n people. These are some of the
comments (thank you!):
- I became a vegetarian during a sabbatical year in Europe. All my
life I had relatively successfully blocked from my mind and heart the
reality of what was on my plate. To continue to do this, I had to
restrict my meat-eating to animals that I had always eaten, whose flesh
I was accustomed to thinking of as only food on the plate. Animals I had
not grown up eating - baby cows, horses, shrimp - I could not eat
because I had not learned to think of their flesh as merely food. In
Europe, as I imagine in many rural areas of North America as well, there
is less of a practice of distancing oneself from the living beings which
have been translated into food on the plate. Birds are sold in the
markets with their heads still attached, so that their species identity
can't be disguised. In France, there is a whole section in the grocery
store devoted to "cheval". It was in Portugal that the last of my
defenses finally came down and in one moment of truth, I tumbled
headlong into uncompromising vegetarianism - we found ourselves stopped
in traffic directly behind a truck with its back doors open, exposing to
our eyes the rows of carcasses hanging there. The following day, a brand
new vegetarian, I contentedly ordered a salad and roll in the
restaurant, the only thing I could eat there, trying to avert my eyes
from a wall-sized mural depicting unapologetically the various stages in
the processing of baby pigs - from suckling at their mother's side,
through skewering over the fire, to presentation on the plates for our
enjoyment.
A few years later I became a vegan, when I forced myself to watch a
PETA video and allowed my heart to break. In that moment I realized that
there is no part of the processing of animals and their products that is
completely free from objectification, abuse, killing. I must not be a
part of any of it. So now I am vegan.
What am I thinking when sharing a meal with my non-vegetarian family
and friends? This is where I am now desperately trying not to think.
Blocking from my mind and heart the reality of what is on their plate.
Otherwise how could I bear the grief? How could I eat with these people
that I love?
And so the thought I do allow myself is this: how is it possible for
them not to see? and this thought also - surely one day soon they will
see.”
~Franceen
- As a Quaker, when I am dining with people who are eating meat, I
think something like "I believe that at heart, where the Inner Light is,
you are a kindly person; you wouldn't deliberately torture or kill
helpless animals. You are participating in a practice that is part of
our culture, but I believe you are a vegetarian at heart. It's a matter
of your practice catching up with who you really are."
The good thing about this kind of thinking--which has taken years for
me to reach--is that I can sometimes say it out loud, and the
meat-eaters don't feel resentful. They are more likely to say "Yes,
you're right," and I can respond with "Follow your heart."
~Gracia Fay
- “How I feel when sharing a meal with non-vegetarian friends: that
has always crossed my mind because they usually feel uncomfortable in
choosing a restaurant to eat. They always say, you pick since you don't
eat meat. I say, I can eat anywhere, there is always something I can
find to eat. This usually helps stop the argument that it is difficult
to eat out being a vegetarian. Then they order their dish, sometimes
also being uncomfortable ordering meat, some friends are a little more
cautious - some are just blunt - by saying - I want my meat medium rare,
I have to see some blood. Anyway, they are mostly just curious to find
out where I get my protein from and they usually say that they just love
the taste of meat. That leads me not to judge them, but really see that
they are not spiritually complete yet, at least when it comes to
honoring God's creations. Sometimes they don't order meat, they order
what I eat and find that it is just as satisfying! Has lead some to try
being a vegetarian, but just aren't disciplined to do so, wanting to
satisfy the flesh more than the spirit.”
~Denise
- “I get very mad deep inside. They are all so apathetic to animal
issues. I met with 6 old friends for lunch and all had lobster rolls or
lobsters. All come from strong Italian roots. All except me were born in
Italy, Americanized now.
One girl asked why I did not eat meat. I said because they suffer.
She said how do you know a veg. doesn't suffer?. I don't know that but I
do know an animal does. One girl there said she would not kill a fly,
she lets them out of the window when she sees them. She eats all meat
and argues with me constantly how I am. Another relative had a party
instead of giving gifts this person asked people to bring food for
animal shelter. This person had steak and chicken, shrimp, etc. at her
catered party. So compassionate? I get very mad inside.”
~Lucille.
Your question and comments are welcome