Food for ThoughtPsalm 94:19 Anxieties
Food for Thought
An all-creatures.org Guide to Kingdom Living

Psalm 94:19 Common English Bible

When my anxieties multiply,  
your comforting calms me down.

As an extreme introvert, it has been very difficult for me to be among a lot of people.  Places where I will be noticed is especially nerve wracking.   I would rather remain in the background, unnoticed.  I avoid things like parties, large group encounters and am uncomfortable with being teased or laughed at.   Anything that shines the light on me brings anxiety.   Recently I started realizing the low level anxiety that permeated throughout my days. It became a part of who I was.  All of my life I have struggled with this fear that dwelt just below the surface. This fear fired off displays of anger when my hiddenness felt threatened and I needed an escape.  Anger wards off many who are unsafe to be around.

Lately I have been aware of this underlying feeling of fear and it has become more apparent to me of how much it has held me in bondage.   I have been facing it for awhile, but the first step is always to recognize the issue.   I have discovered lately in this revelation that I am generally afraid of people; especially angry people so I tend to avoid them.  With their anger and my fear/anger it is a toxic combination.

This world and all the people who have issues can feel very unsafe.  Iím sure many of you feel this way.

When people have a sharp tongue, wrongfully accuse or criticize me whether jokingly or not,  I immediately go into defense mode, which causes a lot of problems if the person is insecure.  What is meant as protection over my heart appears as rejection. So in order to avoid these kinds of encounters I tend to isolate from them and sometimes from everyone if it has been especially painful.  I tell this story regarding this issue because being secretive about it seems to have made it worse.  Like everything else that is from darkness, this is very oppressive.  I have found that it is best not to stand and defend myself,  but instead to crawl into Father Godís lap and let Him hold me and keep me safe.   

I know that there are many out there who have suffered or do suffer from this same problem as I do.  As God unravels the mystery  behind my internal struggle,  I am able to see more clearly how present God really is.  In my times of overwhelming anxiety and fear,  He has comforted my soul and proven His great love with truth.  The anxiety is not the problem anymoreÖ...what I do with it is the issue.  God gives me the solution when He reaches out to me and beckons me closer.

Challenge:  There are so many therapies that help us through these times of anxiety.  For me, I have found that restorative prayer has brought me to a place of healing.   Remember God doesnít do things our way.  He may put you in places that feel so threatening or painful, but only to get you to the point that you deal with the anxiety you have medicated.  Face it and  let God heal you.   

God bless

Marni

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lamb-rightThe purpose of this series is to encourage people to live as loving, compassionate, and peacemaking children of God: Jesus tells us to pray, "Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." (Matthew 6:10) God tells us through Micah (6:8), "He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you But to do justice, to love kindness, And to walk humbly with your God." And we know from Revelation 21:4 that there will be no more mourning, or crying, or pain, or death. Thus, Christian living requires us to set the standards of these conditions here on earth for our fellow human beings, and for the other animals, as a witness to the rest of the world. To do otherwise is not Christian.