by Juli Maltagliati

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by Juli Maltagliati
for Beulah

"I knew she was ready to let you go," he said,
speaking of the time she died.
This healer of animals, who had helped her
live for so long, spoke these words
about helping her leave
a body that had become useless to her.

My world flipped that moment,
those words birthing revelation:
I saw clearly through her eyes

I had readied myself to release her;
I had told her again and again,
"It’s okay; you can go if you need to.
I’ll be okay; it’s okay if you go…"

I wanted her to know I would not bind her,
had no wish to anchor her soul.
"It's okay with me," I had said,
but had never considered
if she was okay with releasing me.

Looking through the other side of that mirror,
a tidal wave of love swept my reason away.
For a moment, all thought left me
until my mind caught its breath again.

Now I can feel what she saw when she beheld me,
but can’t speak it.

Through eyes and soul that were perfect,
however she thought of me,
it was too highly.
However she loved me,
I never was worthy.

From another place now,
she is watching me still,
smiling through those perfect eyes,
assuring me that worthiness
has no part in this bond,
has no part in this letting go.

Copyright © 8-07-07
Juli Maltagliati

Music - "Pure Love" by Jalal Ali