The Works of Mark Edgemon from

Mark Edgemon has been writing for 30 years. He writes and publishes short stories, articles, poetry and scripts, as well as, produces audio comedy productions for over 700 radio stations nationwide.

Contact Mark through his website, Creator and the Catalyst.


Shakespearian Corp, a giant food conglomerate and a world leader in the 100 billion dollar a year live stock industry, owns Hamlet industrial pig farms, one of the leading producers of pork related products throughout Europe and the United States. The feed mill manager for Hamlet was Richard Welfree, an employee who was experienced in animal care and nutrition and had been with the company for 37 years, knew everything about the meat industry and thought he had seen it all.

One day, as he entered the feeding area he called out to the thousands of pigs who were bellying up to the trough and said, “Hello” as if waiting to hear a response. As he turned his back, he heard a voice say “Allo” directly behind him. He turned around and shook his head, thinking he had just heard one of the pigs answer him back.

At that moment, the cell phone rang. He reached into his shirt pocket, clicked it on and said hello. While he was talking, he heard once again, but more distinctly, “Ello”. He turned around and caught the eye of a blue-eyed pig standing at his feet. He told the caller, “I’ll call you back” and hung up as he squatted down to pet the pig. Did you say hello little pig? Richard heard some grunting and before his very eyes he heard the pig say once again, “Ello”.

He scooped the little pig up into his arms and took him to the general manager so he too could hear the pig talk. The pig would not speak around anyone except Richard, which made him look a little foolish. As he carried him back to the feed mill, he passed the area where the pigs were butchered. He thought on how he had always heard that pigs were intelligent and wondered if this speech thing was just his imagination.

While they were passing the slaughterhouse, a butcher was preparing to kill the next pig in line. Just then, the pig in Richard’s arms grunted, “Don’t”! Richard was stunned. He ran toward his car, placing the clear, blue-eyed pig in the front seat and drove home, never to return to Hamlet farms again. He never went back for his paycheck, which he figured would cover the cost of the pig he took home.

Richard’s new pig was the first of his kind, a pig that could express himself and communicate his thoughts, proving his and other pigs intelligence. He had been told by others for years that he lived like a pig. Well now, he had an excuse.

Copyright © 2008 Mark Edgemon

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