Animal Padre's
Christians Against All Animal Abuse
"Christ’s redemption is for the whole of creation!"

Spring 2012

Picking Out Midges, While Consuming Elephants! (Matthew 23:24)

As Practised In Social Life

Yes, such is the society in which we live; and as human nature remains basically as corrupt as it ever was, so we find the above figure of speech most relevant for public morals in every day living. Here are some instances:

My Mum and Dad were as much brain washed as were the masses, hence they followed some topsy-turvy notions. Here is an example: as a youngster I occasionally sat down at the table awaiting my tea. “Have you washed your hands yet Jim?” “No! then where have your manners gone?” Your proud Aunt noticed the other day that when you were eating fish, you picked up the knife to use for meat! and you left the fish knife unattended!” Yes, it was a good job that the parish minister hadn’t been invited for tea. What would HE have thought??” Indeed, on another occasion I leaned forwards on the table, resting my elbows on it! Well, that was equally, unforgivable. ‘Folk would have thought’ my ‘better’s said, ‘that I’d been dragged up, rather than nurtured on a private estate where gentry knew how to eat as well as hunt!

The same order of topsy-turvy priorities followed as I attended both the university dining halls of Nottingham and Oxford. Indeed, before either of these, while in two Bible colleges, one was made aware of what was acceptable behaviour, and what was not appropriate to Christian breeding! To complain because maggots were on my bacon at the Bible Institute of Glasgow was bad taste indeed. Yes, and to enter a lecture hall, when I hadn’t had a much needed shave, was unforgivable at Kensit’s Bible College, Hendon. But then, indeed, to have – in much more recent times – worn one black shoe on one foot, and a dark brown one on the other, was viewed as absolutely hilarious. “It’s a good job that parishioners did not notice. What WOULD they have thought?”  Yes, one could go on! Topsy-turvy moral and social priorities have been experienced by all of us, and they’re often a means of diverting us at an impressionable age from priorities that should really matter to a follower of Jesus.

I well remember my late brother hearing me say: “I must go and have a piss!” Indeed, his face changed colour. “Never let Mum or Dad hear you saying that word; they’d be horrified!” Yes, I’d truly dropped a clangour: the word I should have used was a wee or a pee! But then, in Scotland – while on that private estate – the wording instilled in to us (yes, and emphasised at school too) was either ‘a number one or a number two’. The former referred to urination; and the latter to defecation  Yes, both of which would have been more culturally covered by wishing to make ‘a visit to the bathroom!’ Yes, ‘Pooh corner’ would be more appropriate; but how dare a clergyman say it! ’Indeed Piss and Shit! Were so awful as never to be mentioned, except by those colloquially termed as ‘dragged up in the gutter; indeed, ‘the lowest of the low’.

Meanwhile, breeding, hunting and shooting defenceless birds and animals – Game! - for ‘the sport of kings!’ was obviously a mark of top culture, breeding and decorum.. While, as for their carcasses gathered: these were frequently hung up in a food cellar until they ‘hummed’ with maggots. Like Gorgonzola cheese, they were then classed, after cooking, as superb delicacies most appropriate for human consumption. Yes, no doubt human consumption of both kinds! Yes, but in all fairness, only after grace had been piously offered by the one at the head of the table!  Indeed, not too far removed – even today – from prelates who offer grace over the carcas of a Turkey, bred and incarcerated for all its past life, so as to provide the main course for dinner on Christ’s birthday!  Indeed, I ask: how low can ‘enlightened’ folk still stoop?

As Practised Within The Law

The saying that ‘The law is an ass’ is most relevant, though hardly fair to that delightful creature which Jesus rode on that first Palm Sunday in Jerusalem! Such a creature, which had never been ridden before, did not bolt or stampede. Instead, it had the spiritual perception to know that Jesus was above! Yes, the creature had a spiritiual knowledge and insight which the average law maker abysmally lacks; and that goes from a self bloated Justice Minister at the top, down to many a chief constable or magistrate when carried away by self grandeur.

A little over two years ago, Doreen was pulled up for driving too slow on a leisurely Sunday evening; and a little over two months ago she was fined sixty pounds for doing 5 miles over a 30 mile speed restriction. Well, It would appear as if she couldn’t win! Meanwhile, our house has been burgled – no less than thrice in eight years! – and the police have never got back to us! Indeed, two letters have been sent to the chiel constable telling of our dissatisfaction, but no personal reply has been received, (though a local sergeant has been most courteous).   Indeed, it might appear as if we are evolving towards a police state comparable to a past Russia! Yes, especially when one considers the following heading and sub heading from a full half page article in the daily express of the 3rd of February this year:


animal padre, christianity, animals 

Regardless of the dictatorial past Labour regime, one thing can be said to their credit: the abolishment of the hunting act! Regrettably, however, the police appear hardly keen to enforce it. Blood ‘sports’ of a horrendously barbaric nature are still taking place, and brilliant Christian animal activists such as Judi Hewitt, Founder of ‘Wales against Animal Cruelty’ appear to get little, if any backing at all, from the police in prosecuting those who break such a law. Incidentally, Judi takes a Christian stand which should make influential clergy ashamed of themselves for their cowardice. Yes, too many of whom want to side with both the hare as well as the hounds.

As Practised By The Church

For far too long the church leaders have leaned on the side of what ever or who ever has been the most influential within society. They’ve denounced sloth and idleness in the work place, but not the appalling conditions that workers were forced to endure. They’ve opposed alcohol, but not the conditions responsible for it!  Indeed, it has been deemed justifiable within Victorian Britain to cancel Sunday worship because both the Rector and his crony the local squire wished to attend a hunt; but as for the poor servant girl made pregnant by a squire’s son; she has been banished from service as well as from many a parish. Yes, while the squire’s son has got off Scot Free! Such, indeed, have been the kind of instances one could quote from past parishes where distorted moral priorities prevailed. They’ve stunk to high heaven!

My late beloved Mother was a teenager during World War I, and she assured me – as did her strict Quarter Master Sergeant of a father - that Chaplains mostly encouraged Christian soldiers in the UK to go and kill Christian soldiers fighting for Germany! Indeed, if they turned back then they had to be shot as cowards Yes, and the biggest culprits of all were the top prelates within Christendom. Indeed, the very Pope himself supported and blest Padres whose task was to encourage Catholics to go ‘over the top’ and slaughter fellow Catholics on the other side! Yes, and such a character – attired in fine purple and scarlet lace, while protected in palacious splendour - professed to be the visible representative of Jesus here on earth! Can you think of anything more absurd or even blasphemous: if it were not so humorous? The lowly Nazarene castigated those so attired and living in palaces (Matthew 11:8); and as for those who attached flattering titles to themselves, then simply look up in your Bible Job 32:21-22 and Matthew 23:9. Do you wonder why I, myself, prefer the appendage Pastor? Yes, and providing Rev. is only short for Revolutionary, then call me that as often as you wish. I only wish I was more of one!

Go on to The Flaw Of Any Hierarchic Structure
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