Animal Padre's
Christians Against All Animal Abuse
"Christ’s redemption is for the whole of creation!"

Winter 2013

A Compassionate Stand To Assist Penitent Homosexuals

Evangelical Christians in the London area are endeavoring this month to help ‘Gay’ men to become morally ‘straight’ both by counseling and various psychological techniques. Well, as both a past qualified Hypno. analyst and a Psychotherapist I have no doubt whatsoever that several such methods can be very successful in bringing about a permanent cure. Why some otherwise ‘quite delightful folk’ should end up in a quagmire of sexual promiscuity and accompanying drug addiction is something one might never know. But – to use but one up to date example – I see the connection between the recently disgraced Reverend Flowers of Bradford Methodism –plus his role as Chairman of the whole Cooperative Bank! - in the name he’s had to carry all down his past life from early school days: Flowers!

Nevertheless – that said _, the lasting cure for many ailments that afflict humanity can sometimes be quick, easy, and unbelievably inexpensive. Yes, and overcoming basic homosexual practice is no exception to the rule! The following cure comes from the ‘Emerald Isle’ and has been around for a long time now, receiving one hundred percent success when strictly adhered to. So here it is:

Simply tell the men who are desirous of ‘going straight’ to down 5 pints of  good old Irish stout – preferably Guiness or Murphys - but only after they’ve had, first of all, a generous dinner confined to a sumptuous Vindaloo Curry.  Believe me, it will soon  show them  -‘once and for the rest of their lives’ - what Almighty God created anus’s  for.  And - ‘as an extra perk!’ - the nostrils will have breathed in the ‘never to be forgotten’ one and only authentic sensual aroma of  ‘odor toilette!’

Well, humor apart – and what would life be without it? – deep loyalty towards a ‘buddy’ of the same sex is something truly to be admired. Love in the Christian term can be as deep as was the king’s son Jonathan for David a humble shepherd boy. It is recorded that ‘One loved the other as he loved his own soul!’  In Fact a more recent example of this kind of thing comes to mind from the last World War:

A fellow who had gone over the top of his trench was mortally wounded by the enemy. His nearest pal asked the commanding officer if he could go over the top in order to bring him back. His superior said: “I’ve lost one man to the enemy and I can’t afford to lose you as well”.  However, the private, so heartbroken for his wounded comrade pleaded once more to the officer in charge, and having been granted his wish, he made his way out of the trench and back’ all in order to confort his dying pal.

“You made it there and you were extremely lucky to make it back”, Said the officer: “Surely it wasn’t worth such a risk?” asked the officer. “Oh yes it was”, came the reply. “I just got there in time for him to say to me: “I knew you’d come!”

My friend and fellow reader never mix up true selfless love for a member of one’s own sex for what the Bible refers to as Sodomy; and what the law of the land - up to the 1970s- referred to as Buggery! One is an expression of Christ like selfless love, while the other is referred to as lust and fornication. Just a step removed from pedophilia: an evil that both Labour’s Harman and Hewitt played down!   Once the floodgates open where does it all stop?

Go on to Very Sad, But I Needed To Turn Such Requests Down
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