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23 December 1998 Issue

Doggie Christmas Carols

IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK JUST LIKE A KENNEL
(to the tune of "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas")

It's beginning to look just like a kennel
Everywhere you go
With those huge tufts of doggie hair
Billowing everywhere
And settling into drifts like falling snow

It's beginning to look just like a kennel
Toys on every floor
Now you can't walk without a sound
With the squeaky toys around
But you'll still buy more

Oh! There are balls on the stairway
Hair clogging your airway
All of the carpeting stained
Add in some mud
Miscellaneous crud
And the dog relations are strained
…and that's not even counting what's been left here by the pup

It's beginning to look just like a kennel
Dogs lounge all around
They are draping on your best chair
Eating your underwear
And shredding your new clothes with just one bound

It's beginning to look just like a kennel
Canines in control
All the caregiving that you do
Prepares them for training you
Life's an alpha roll!
* - * - * - * - *

SHOPPING FOR THE DOGGIES ONCE AGAIN
(to the tune of "Winter Wonderland")

Doggie toys they're so nifty
You can never be thrifty
You spend all your cash
Then home you must dash
Shopping for the doggies once again!

They've got balls
Ooh! There's rawhide
Rubber toys
With bells inside
You start with just one
But then it's begun…..
Shopping for the doggies once again

Walk into the pet shop just for kibble
Squeaky toys accost you at the door
They're piled up at home, but hey why quibble?
You don't really need to see your floor

Piggy parts
Quite revolting
Toys with hearts
Colors jolting
It's garish yet grand
Now it's in your hand….
Shopping for the doggies once again.
* - * - * - * - *

HARK! THE JOYOUS DOGGIES CALL
(to the tune of "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing")

Hark! The joyous doggies call
Mama's returned from the mall
Let us greet her joyfully
While she tries to gain entry

Let us jump and let us yip
Let us make our mama trip
Let us bring her our best toys
Ones that make the squeaky noise
We're so glad to have her home
All doggies hate to be alone
Hark! The joyous doggies call
Mama has returned from the mall!
* - * - * - * - *

DOGGIE SMELLS
(to the tune of "Jingle Bells")

Dashing through the park
With our noses to the ground
Walking on our ears
Pretending to be hounds
Not using our eyes
We navigate by smell
If it's over an inch high
Then, it's got a tale to tell

Oh, doggie smells
Doggie smells
Outside of our home
Oh we love those doggie smells
When on the leash we roam

Doggie smells
Doggie smells
Marking every tree
All our other doggie friends
Have stopped right here to pee!
* - * - * - * - *

DOG CHRISTMAS
(to the tune of "White Christmas" -- sing it like Bing…)

I'm dreaming of slow squirrel
One I could catch and make my toy
Or a lovely shoe
That I could chew
Would add greatly to my joy

I'm dreaming of a dog biscuit
Tall as a house and twice as wide
Little toys that squeak
And kids that shriek
And huge bones made of rawhide

I'm dreaming of a huge buffet
With all the plates at table's edge
Grabbing hefty portions
Of people rations
Before they go in the fridge

I'm dreaming of a long walkie
One where I choose where I will go
Greeting doggie friends
Sniffing both ends
Our tails wagging to and fro

I'm dreaming of a soft pillow
All to myself and end of day
Where I snore the evening away
Storing energy for doggie play….

Copyright 1996 Dogmama and Detroit Download Central

Go on to Holiday Etiquette For Dogs
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