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23 June 1999 Issue
Wildlife Services???

In response to numerous emails, the U.S. government decides to take the
Animal Damage Control Program away from the Department of Agriculture and
give the responsibility to either the FBI, the CIA or the LAPD. The President
decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit in a forest and each of them
has to catch it.

The FBI goes in first. They place animal informants throughout the forest and
question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three weeks of extensive
investigations, the FBI concludes that the rabbit does not exist.

The CIA goes in next. After two weeks with no leads they burn down the forest,
killing everything in it, including the rabbit. They make no apologies, stating
the rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. they come two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The
bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit !! I'm a rabbit !!"

Go on to Cruelty Free Investing
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