Newsletter - Animal Writes sm
18 August 1999 Issue

Humor From the Hunting Fields
By [email protected]

The following funnies are gleaned from the pages of official Hunting Accident Reports:

In Illinois two hunters were hunting geese. Hunter "A" shot a goose from their blind which fell to the ground in front of the blind. Hunter A left the blind to retrieve the dead bird. While out of the blind, another group of geese approached. Hunter A hid himself in brush while hunter "B", still in the blind, shot and killed another goose. When the goose fell, hunter A attempted to catch the falling bird. He did. The bird was dead but hunter A was taken to the hospital by hunter B with a concussion and a broken collar bone. anada geese frequently weigh 15 lb. The bird fell from a height of 80-100 ft. Catching one would be akin to catching bowling balls thrown at you from the roof of a 10 story building!!!!!

In Wisconsin a man set out to hunt ducks. He loaded his boat with decoys, ammunition, lunch, guns and a rambunctious black lab. The gun was loaded (a violation of federal law) and the lab was real excited. While motoring across the lake, the happy dog was bouncing around the boat, stepped on the trigger of the gun firing it. The resulting hole in the bottom of the boat caused it to quickly fill with water and sink. The frisky dog swam to shore while the hunter, less his gun and boat, floundered about in his waders, finally reaching shore. Do things like this happen often to hunters? Read on.

In Indiana a man was hunting deer with a shotgun from a tree stand. A deer approached the tree the man was in. The man followed the deer in the scope sight of his shotgun, right under the tree he was in. He lined up the scope's crosshairs with the deer's spine and touched off the shot just as the muzzle of the gun crossed the toe of his boot. The result was a 1 oz. slug zipping through the arch of his foot at 1500 fps. An abject lesson in Newton's fourth law of motion: "Move thy foot before shooting."

Perhaps the best comes from Oregon. A man was bow hunting with a group of hunters for the first time. Of course, he had to be initiated to the "club". After sufficient thought it was decided that his initiation would be to have a beer can shot off his head by the best shot in the group. The beer can was empty, along with quite a few others before the initiation began. The shot went a little low. The arrow entered the man's skull through his right eye and exited the back of his head. The man, with attached arrow, was delivered to the hospital where doctors carefully removed the arrow. Besides the eye, no vital organs or blood vessels were damaged and the man recovered. The recovering hunter was quoted as saying "I feel so stupid." Hmmmm, an arrow through a hunter's head and "no vital organs damaged." Food for thought.

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