* Thou shall not jump onto the keyboard when thy human
is on the computer.
* Thou shall not pull the phone cord out of the back of
* Thou shall not unroll all of the toilet paper off the
* Thou shall not sit in front of the television or
monitor as if thou art transparent.
* Thou shall not projectile hair balls from the top of
* Thou shall not walk in on a dinner party and commence
licking thy butt.
* Thou shall not lie down with thy butt in thy human's
* Thou shall not leap from great heights onto thy
human's genital region.
* Fast as thou art, thou cannot run through closed
* Thou shall not reset thy human's alarm clock by
walking on it.
* Thou shall not climb on the garbage can with the
hinged lid, as thee will fall in and trap thyself.
* Thou shall not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy
human is sitting down.
* Thou shall not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder
at 4 a.m.
* Thou shall realize that the house is not a prison from
which to escape at any opportunity.
* Thou shall not trip thy humans even if they are
walking too slow.
* Thou shall not push open the bathroom door when there
are guests in thy house.
* Thou shall pee only in thy litter box.
* Thou shall attempt to show remorse when being scolded.
From Joke du Jour
Go on to Some Things
Never Change: A Man and His Dog
Return to 9 April 2000 Issue
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