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9 April 2000 Issue
Cat Commandments

* Thou shall not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the computer.

* Thou shall not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.

* Thou shall not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.

* Thou shall not sit in front of the television or monitor as if thou art transparent.

* Thou shall not projectile hair balls from the top of the refrigerator.

* Thou shall not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.

* Thou shall not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.

* Thou shall not leap from great heights onto thy human's genital region.

* Fast as thou art, thou cannot run through closed doors.

* Thou shall not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.

* Thou shall not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thee will fall in and trap thyself.

* Thou shall not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.

* Thou shall not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4 a.m.

* Thou shall realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at any opportunity.

* Thou shall not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slow.

* Thou shall not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.

* Thou shall pee only in thy litter box.

* Thou shall attempt to show remorse when being scolded.

From Joke du Jour

Source: Pearlmom1@aol.com

Go on to Some Things Never Change: A Man and His Dog
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