~ You have a kiddy wading pool in the yard, but no small
~ Lintwheels are on your shopping list every week.
~ You have baby gates permanently installed at strategic
places around the house, but no babies.
~ The trash basket is more or less permanently installed
in the kitchen sink, to keep the dog out of it while you're at work.
~ You can't see out the passenger side of the windshield
because there are nose-prints all over the inside.
~ Poop has become a source of conversation for you and
your significant other.
~ You refer to yourselves as Mommy and Daddy.
~ Your dog sleeps with you.
~ You have 32 different names for your dog. Most make no
sense, but she understands.
~ Your dog eats cat poop, but you still let her kiss you
(but not immediately afterward, of course).
~ You like people who like your dog. You despise people
~ You carry dog biscuits in your purse or pocket at all
~ You talk about your dog the way other people talk
about their kid.
~ You sign and send birthday/anniversary/Christmas cards
from your dog.
~ You put an extra blanket on the bed so your dog can be
~ You'd rather stay home on Saturday night and cuddle
your dog than go to the movies with your sweetie.
~ You go to the pet supply store every Saturday because
it's one of the very few places that lets you bring your dog inside, and
your dog loves to go with you.
~ You open your purse, and that big bunch of baggies you
use for pick-ups pops out.
~ You get an extra-long hose on your shower-massage just
so you can use it to wash your dog in the tub, without making the dog
sit hip-deep in water.
~ You don't think it's the least bit strange to stand in
the back yard chirping "Meg, pee!"; over and over again, while Meg tends
to play and forget what she's out there for (but what your neighbors
think of your behavior is yet another story).
~ You and the dog come down with something like flu on
the same day. Your dog sees the vet while you settle for an
over-the-counter remedy from the drugstore.
~ Your dog is getting old and arthritic, so you go buy
lumber and build her a small staircase so she can climb onto the bed by
~ Your license plate or license plate frame mentions
~ You match your furniture/carpet/clothes to your dog.
~ You have your dog's picture on your office desk (but
no one else's)
~ You lecture people on responsible dog ownership every
chance you get.
~ You hang around the dog section of your local
~ You skip breakfast so you can walk your dog in the
morning before work.
~ You are the only idiot walking in the pouring rain
because your dog needs her walk.
~ You don't go to happy hours with co-workers any more
because you need to go home and see your dog.
~ Your parents refer to your pet as their granddog.
~ Your friend's dog acts as Best Dog at your wedding.
~ Your weekend activities are planned around taking your
dog for a hike (both days).
~ You keep an extra water dish in your second-floor
bedroom, in case your dog gets thirsty at night (after all, her other
dish is way down on the first floor).
~ You never completely finish a piece of food (so your
dog gets a taste, too).
~ You shovel a zig-zag path in the back yard snow so
your dog can reach all her favorite spots.
~ You avoid vacuuming the house as long as possible
because your dog is afraid of the vacuum cleaner.
~ You keep eating even after finding a dog hair in your
~ You make popcorn just to play catch with your dog.
~ You carry pictures of your dog in your wallet instead
of pictures of your parents, siblings, significant other, or anyone else
And the number one reason you know you're a dog person:
~ Your dog is the star of your World Wide Web site!
Go on to Excuses For
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