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Newsletter - Animal Writes sm
22 October 2000

NOTMILK... WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER
By Robert Cohen, i4crob@idt.net
http://www.notmilk.com

Every day, I receive 2,000+ e-mails, and at least once a day, I get the suggestion to get myself booked on Oprah. This morning I realized my chances of getting the NOTMILK message to America on the Oprah Winfrey Show were a lot closer to "none" than "extremely slim." Finding myself stranded in the Buffalo, New York airport magazine store, I noticed a prominently displayed copy of the October, 2000 issue of "The Oprah Magazine" (circulation of over 1 million readers).

Imagining that the milk industry might exert some power on Oprah by advertising in her impressive magazine, I looked for evidence of the dairy influence. There on page 113 was Frankie Muniz, star of TV's "Malcolm in the Middle," posing with his "Got Milk?" mustache. On page 117 was a full-page ad for Dannon Drinkables, followed by an ad for Kraft products on page 118.

How strong can bones get? On page 133, Dannon Yogurt's ad presented their dairy argument. Oprah's magazine continued with an ad for Land O' Lakes Butter on page 150, Stoneyfield Yogurt on page 199, a two-page ad for Rice Krispies on page 200-201, an ad for Yoplait Yogurt on page 206, an ad for Philadelphia Cream Cheese on page 272, and a Got Milk? coffee ad on page 300. Last but not least, there was a second cheesy Kraft calcium ad.

A full-page ad in "The Oprah Magazine" runs $67,275.

One dozen full-page dairy ads make for enormous cash flow for Oprah. The total cost for those dozen ads is $807,300. Multiply that times 12 months and you've got nearly $10 million per year of advertising revenue. Make no mistake about it, folks. Oprah and her handlers have little reason to kill the sacred cow by presenting any negative milk issues on her nationally syndicated television show.

Oh, yes...here's some special advice to you from Oprah in her July/August issue:
"Accept what people offer. Drink their milkshakes.
Take their love." --- Wally Lamb, Author

Go on to If I Could Talk to the Animals...
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