The Top 5 List www.topfive.com
Copyright 2001 by Chris White
Recently it was reported that in the United States,
McDonald's has been cooking their French fries in beef fat at their
processing plants before freezing them and shipping them to the
restaurants, where they're fried again, this time in vegetable oil. As
you might imagine, American Hindus and vegetarians are pretty upset
about this. Kind of makes you wonder just what *else* McDonald's might
be hiding, doesn't it?
The Top 16 Other Things McDonald's Hasn't Told You
16. The shakes? Also fried in beef fat.
15. Tell the vegetarians to brace themselves; we have
some bad news about the salads.
14. Want to avoid beef fat altogether? Try our
13. Mayor McCheese has had five coronary bypass
12. Burgers that don't sell after two days spend the
rest of the month as "Filet-O-Fish."
11. The Hamburglar MUST dress like that because of
10. McNuggets are shaped to honor the states with
lenient meat-handling laws.
9. The reason we wear rubber gloves is for OUR
protection, not yours.
8. The real Ronald McDonald died in 1969, trying to
wrestle the controls of a small plane from an inebriated Hamburglar.
7. We never asked; we just assumed you'd prefer it
6. The Bible might be a series of allegorically
instructive fables, rather than historically factual accounts.
5. You can McNugget almost anything and people still
think it's chicken.
4. If our lawsuit succeeds, many Irish people will lose
the first two letters of their surname, as did Hammer.
3. We modeled Ronald on a painting by John Wayne Gacy.
2. Actually, seeing you smile kind of creeps us out.
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Other
Thing McDonald's Hasn't Told You...
1. "Okay, you got us; there aren't really any salads
Go on to Kittens Are
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