Please think about something. Since you admit that you take pleasure in killing, you also are saying that you have lost your feelings of empathy for the animals. When people lose their empathy they become sociopathic. This also means that you have hardened you heart. God wants us to have a soft heart that feels the pain and suffering of the whole of His creation.
Also please see:
Living in the Will Rather than the Concessions of God
In the Love of the Lord,
Frank and Mary