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By Sarah - 8 Jan 2013

In Reference to: 6 January 2013 - Where Was Jesus Born?

Dear Frank
Thank you for your very quick reply, though we are in such different time zones that I don't get the chance to read it for many hours.
Maybe I'm substituting the struggle for the trust, but I certainly feel like I have struggled a great deal over many years.
Yes I trust that the light will go on and that the food will be OK, but that's based on previous experience. I doubt if I'd trust for a light to go on just because I turned on a switch if I hadn't experienced it before. (That's actually quite an amazing thing when you think about it, that a light goes on when you turn a switch!) I feel that it's more like getting on a train in the middle of the night, with blinds on all the windows and a very smooth track so I can't feel any motion. So I have doubts about whether the train is actually moving or whether I'm even on the right train, especially when I have previously met other people who tell me they saw beautiful views on their journey. So on my journey I try to look out of the window to see if I can detect movement, and perhaps I can feel a little bit of a vibration, nothing more, but there's nothing to see because it's all dark out there. I begin to think that perhaps I'm on the wrong train which is just standing still without a driver, and those tiny vibrations were just wishful thinking.
I feel like I've asked Him many times over and I still feel like I'm somehow on the outside.