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HUMOR ARCHIVES

On this page you will find some of the items, thoughts and messages that were submitted to the Veg-Christian@all-creatures.org E-mail discussion group, or to all-creatures.org.

This page was established 2 January 1998, and updated 09 February 2003

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Lines of Levity - Part 1
Compiled by Alan Nash
Submitted 6 Oct 1998 by Maynard S. Clark

Very infrequently one of our subscribers dares to publish some selected humor. Predictably a few netters respond with rebukes or chastisements disguised as lamentations. Hence, this post, ''Lines of Levity'' wherein, I, Alan Nash, have sought to keep active the joys of selected humor. All pieces were previously published in a parish monthly titled, 'Communique.'


The church garden party had started on time amidst a burst of sunshine. Only then did Pastor Quirk realize that he hadn't invited a prominent female fund raiser named, Mrs Pushly. He at once phoned her. 'It's no use!'' she coldly replied, ''I've already prayed for rain!''


QUESTION FROM A SIX-YEAR OLD IN SABBATH SCHOOL: Please teacher, why do they cancel Sabbath School whenever we have company staying at our home?


SPINSTER'S PRAYER: Father in heaven hear my prayer, And, grant it if You can, I've hung a pair of trousers here, Please fill them with a man!


The members were loudly criticizing an in-church committee. Hearing this, Miss Flight protested, ''Why this criticism? After all, they haven't done a thing!"


PRAYER DISPLAYED IN DINNING ROOM AT NURSING HOME: Lord, we ask that you will keep us alive while we are still living!


In the church hallway two deacons were overheard exchanging comments. ''Now, listen carefully,'' said the younger, ''This I can tell you only once since I promised never to repeat it!"


FROM A CHURCH BULLETIN: Last week's business meeting was like heaven. Many whom we had expected to see were absent !

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