I had a nightmare late last night
The background of it colored white;
White jackets, dresses, hats and skin
Provide the setting I was in.
But long before it came to that
Another dream had set the stage;
Life’s rationale had worn too thin
And auguries of truth crept in.
They multiplied and caused great pain,
I could not exorcise my brain
Nor drive the spirits out that knew
The horror, now, of what was true.
Not helpless pawns, the human race,
Beset by Nature, God or Chance;
We shape the forces that give birth
To pain and grief. . . to life on earth.
This mass of knowledge grew within
And fed on my tormented brain;
Nurtured there on just one side
It fed on all the lies I’d lied.
That side is linked to ego-self;
The left, called personality:
It’s consciousness will give assent
To anything expedient.
The other side is linked to truth;
The self that IS, eternally:
It seeks to show, to manifest,
All beauty, love, god-consciousness.
It rarely does, it can’t bypass
The will, that sentinel which stands
Between two minds, and makes the choice
Of what to manifest on earth.
But now that choice was gone from me,
The victim of a spreading growth
That took my lies and left behind
The truth; an undivided mind.
And such a mind could not endure
The things that it was forced to know;
Without illusion, life became
Unbearable, with constant pain.
That pain was forcing me to break
All ties that kept me bound to earth;
Unless by dawn they cured my brain
I’d never see this world again.
And night was almost gone, I ran
Frantically, through many dreams;
Though chained to grief, to space and time
I would not leave: This earth is mine!
My lust for earth became a light
That led me to the holy place:
I beat upon the temple gate
And begged salvation from my fate.
I dimly heard and dimly felt
Strong voices, hands, were helping me;
Too weak with pain, I hardly knew
The place that we were going to.
My eyes were closed, I could not see,
But when all motion stopped, I sensed,
We were within the secret veil
White magic of the gods prevail.
The priests intoned their secret words
Not meant for those who had not earned
The sacred scrolls that let them stand
Above, apart, from common man.
The High Priest spoke, “Scalpel please,”
My eyes flew open and I saw
White jackets, dresses, hats and skin
Comprised the setting I was in.
The Priest addressed the novices
Who sat in rows, around the walls;
He told them not to hesitate
When they’re full-fledged, to operate.
For cancerous truth spreads rapidly,
Depressive symptoms show it’s there:
“The answer is brain-surgery
For victims of reality.”
He spoke, and ages rolled away,
I saw him in another place:
He swore “We’re greater than I AM.”
We followed him . . . and time began.
We built this world upon a lie
And by our lies it is sustained;
We call the truth insanity;
Falsehood, treason, Heresy.
We root it out by sword and pen,
By tortures inquisitional;
By education, surgeon’s knife;
Neighbors, husband, parents, wife.
The unity we always seek
Exists already, underneath
The make-believe of left and right,
Of rich and poor, of black and white.
Together we sustain the world,
Held fast by chains of self-deceit
Forged on the anvils of the brain;
We are a brotherhood of pain.
And sworn to play, sequentially,
The roles that are assigned to us;
Enduring all, until our turn
To play the victor in life’s game.
I saw it all as I lay there
Unending lifetimes of despair;
But as I did, I looked above
And saw a light; it shone with Love.
And Love said “Come, from death to life,
The choice is yours, it always was;
The price, so high, that you must pay
To be the victor for a day.”
“The surgery that dulls your brain
Will keep you bound to death and dreams;
But you can wake, your mind is free
To end this unreality.”
My heart reached out - my spirit woke;
But then I saw the surgeons eyes:
They said, “We’re greater than I AM.”
I slept. And surgery began.