Blackmailing the Devil

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Blackmailing the Devil
Written by Mark Edgemon

I can’t sleep. Every night it’s the same thing all over again. I get out of bed and sit up on the couch until I get sleepy, then I go back to bed for forty-five minutes until I wake up and sit back on the couch again. After doing this three or four times during the night, I’m up for the day. After several months of this, I’m walking in a fog around the clock.

One night, I got up as usual and went to the bathroom and was startled by something I never expected to see. The devil was in my bathroom sitting on the toilet. I was shocked, because I didn’t even know he ever had to go. After a moment, I asked him what he was doing in my bathroom. He said he was in the area and had to go. I asked him was he there to see me and he said no, but there was a robbery in the neighborhood, somebody mean died earlier in the evening, he had to set someone up for destruction; yadda yadda and things like that.

I asked him why my bathroom and he said I was passing by and I just couldn’t wait.

I said to the devil, “I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. You can use my bathroom if you tell me what are my three worst sins and weaknesses. If you will tell me that, I’ll step out and you can finish.” He said quickly and impatiently, “you can’t take instruction because of your self will, you are so prideful you won’t ask anyone for help unless it’s an emergency and you daydream a lot, because you are avoiding facing the other two Truths.”

“Wow!” I said, “Thanks!” And before he could say another word, I called on God to forgive me of those sins and reaffirmed my desire for His perfect Will. At that point, light began to fill my bathroom, so much in fact, the devil closed his legs together, got up and said, “Thanks for nothing!” With that he disappeared.

From that moment on, I could finally sleep well. It was my unrepentant sins that were keeping me up. I found out what was getting between me and God and all it cost me was a can of Lysol deodorant spray.

Copyright © 2008 Mark Edgemon

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