Dead in the Water
The Works of Mark Edgemon from All-Creatures.org

Mark Edgemon has been writing for 30 years. He writes and publishes short stories, articles, poetry and scripts, as well as, produces audio comedy productions for over 700 radio stations nationwide.

Contact Mark through his website, Creator and the Catalyst.

Dead in the Water

Stanley was in line to be baptized at his church on a particular Sunday evening, ready to make his profession of faith public to the congregation and to the world. However, he had joined the church a month earlier and subsequently went to the altar as a show that he was a good Christian, when in fact, he just joined the neighborhood church to use it as a place to network with the religious folk and promote his vinyl siding sales business. He figured he sell a dozen or more and then join another church in the area and do the whole thing over again. Slick huh!

He was next up to be baptized and was thinking when he spoke to the congregation after his baptism, how would he tie in mentioning how people at the church could have a free house inspection to see if their house would be suitable for vinyl siding. Now every house was suitable no matter what the shape, but this was one of the lying gimmicks he used to persuade people to buy from him.

A minute later, it was his turn to be dunked. He stepped up beside the pastor, who laid his hands on him, one on his back and one on his forehead and said, “In the name of the Father and of the Son and the Holy Ghost.” And with that he went under.

The very minute he hit the water; something frightening happened…he had a heart attack! The 10 seconds he was under the water seemed like an eternity. His body went limp and Stanley could see the lights through the water above growing dimmer. He had no near death experience where he saw God or light, his spirit just knew that he was dying. Without crying out or asking God for help, miraculously his heart started beating again moments before he was brought up out of the water.

As he was now standing once again with the preacher’s hand on his back, he felt weak, but otherwise all right. When the minister asked him for a testimony all he could think to say was, “I was dead, but now I am alive.”

And the congregation said, “Amen.”

Copyright © 2008 Mark Edgemon

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