THE ALCOHOLIC MISER
The Works of Mark Edgemon from All-Creatures.org

Mark Edgemon has been writing for 30 years. He writes and publishes short stories, articles, poetry and scripts, as well as, produces audio comedy productions for over 700 radio stations nationwide.

Contact Mark through his website, Creator and the Catalyst.

THE ALCOHOLIC MISER

Dan figures out his expenses at the first of each month. He is a penny pincher, so he can save his money for more important things.

He has $1,000.00 to spend each month and squeezes his budget as much as possible.

He lives in a low income apartment complex for $235.00 a month. He spent $3.45 this month for clothes, which consists of a sewing kit, comprised of a needle and 2 colors of thread, black and white.

He spent $17.98 on food this month for a case of pork and beans, which goes well with the free cheese he gets from the health and human services department.

He allotted 89 cents for medical expenses, which was spent on a pack of band aids.

He spent 15 cents on entertainment for a gumball from a machine outside the grocery store.

Electricity costs only $15.00, since he only turns the power on to take hot showers.

He spent $10.00 on water.

He doesn’t own a car, so he saves on gas, insurance, car maintenance, taxes, tags and the car’s purchase price. He could have a car if he saved for it, but that would take money away from other more important things.

There are 10 other items in his budget, 9 of which come to $19.45, leaving the rest of his wealth, a total of $698.08…for drinking.

But according to him, he doesn’t have a drinking problem. He bristles when anyone asks about his alcohol consumption. He’s over protective about it.

He thinks about drinking when he’s not drinking. He loves to drink all night and sleep all day, so he can drink all night the next night. His job gets in the way of his drinking, but for now, he has to put up with the inconvenience.

He won’t have to put up with his job interfering with his drinking too much longer. He will eventually get written up for not showing up at work, due to being so very tired from drinking. Then one day, he will be fired.

His new home will not have so many expenses. His new home…will be the street.

Copyright © 2007 Mark Edgemon

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