“My Family, My Society”
~In the light of day, in front of all of our neighbors and
friends, we all appear to be as nice as we can be . .
~You might see our family pictures hanging there on
the wall, or maybe sitting on a table down the hall.
~In all those pictures we all look as happy and normal
as can be, as a matter of fact, anyone that’s ever
seen them, even comments what a beautiful
picture they all See!
~Little does anyone know, or for that matter even
suspect, all those big smiles and happy faces might
just be forced or faked.
~ I am always trying to please, and be everything my
family and my society expects and demands of me.
I work real hard with all my might, yet I just can’t
seem to ever get or do anything right . . . It
can’t all be wrong. RIGHT?
~So on I go with my plight, trying to be careful,
trying not to offend, I am walking on egg shells,
all to no avail, trying to be courteous and polite,
but still can’t see any relief in sight!
~Oh no! Here comes another fight, for a public
performance, that wasn’t done just right.
~Behind the closed doors in the privacy of our home
the battle lines are clearly being drawn. All of our
neighbors and friends can’t, or won’t see or hear all
the fighting, cold remarks , arguing and damaging
yells. Because on the outside looking in, we all look
like a big happy ending to some old fairy tale . . .
~But I am here to tell you “ALL” what is really being
created by my family and society is real living hell!
~When you live in a family and society that’s totally
obsessed with how you look, what you wear, where
you live and what you drive. Do you really think they
could give a damn about how they make you feel?
Man, what a deal!
~When you are part of a family and society that fears
the truth, and demands that you always be socially
and politically correct, you learn to keep your
mouth shut and keep smiling, until on the inside, you
are completely wrecked . . . .
~Oh, what a great cover we have created for our
family and society. We’ve all been told to hide all the
abuse, the shame, the pain and the hate and
naturally it’s condoned by church and state.
~Most are too proud, too strong, too afraid or too
ashamed, to ask for, or to get help. While on the other
end scale you’ve got those who commit these
crimes, and if ever confronted, they will immediately
deny, and tell anyone that questions their
actions, to go straight to HELL ! ! !
~Each day, while all our neighbors and friends are all
thinking each others’ are really doing well, little do
they know we are all just fooling each others, but I
guess mostly OURSELVES ! ! !
~Everyday like nothing ever happened, we go to work,
we go to church, we give each other awards and pat
each others on the back for jobs done well . . . .
For who’s going to tell?
~So on we go trying to hide all the pain and the shame,
brought on by our families and societies lies, abuses,
and head games.
~In our quest to numb the pain and to try to remain
semi-sane, some turn to drugs, others turn to being
thugs, a bunch are hiding behind the cross, weaving in
and out, and around the word of their church, while
others are just getting addicted to their work, some
find relief in food or booze, some just leave, never to
Many choose money, power, greed or sex.
No matter what “YOU” choose to USE, or DO to HIDE
“YOUR PAIN “. . . WE ALL LOSE!
~As a new days light begins to shine, we all appear to
be so KIND . . . . It’s that part of ourselves that
emerges each day, that makes us look so swell, called
the false public self, the one we know so well.
It’s out there working real hard everyday, because’ it’s
always got a real slick public image to sell …….
~Somewhere deep within ourselves, dwells another
part of our selves, Called the true private self. We
keep it hidden there very well, and it hardly ever shows
itself, or comes out of it’s shell.
~It’s not hiding there because it wants to be, it is
there out of necessity. It is a condition and
requirement for being a member of my family and
~So there we go, hiding all of our pain and feelings of
despair, to which the false public self declares, these
are feelings you must NEVER, EVER SHARE !
~THE Damage IS Done!!!!!!
~As the darkness begins to descend upon another day,
there’s another darkness much darker you cannot SEE
. . . as we are silently crying, silently dying.
~All the while, while this is happening in my life, my true
private self is looking, hoping and praying to GOD
above to please come, and help me repair this
damage done . So he and I could live in peace and
walk as one!
~After years of praying and all hope of help from
GOD gone, I begin to look inside myself, only to see
that something is seriously wrong, Oh my GOD a part
of me is beginning to die , it’s my true private self !
Well I guess, I now know, if it is to be, it is up to me….
Cause there ain’t no Leave it to Beaver,
or Brady Bunch scene around here.
~At that moment, I look up to see friends,
neighbors, and family, looking my way.
~So with a big sigh, and a little help from my false
public self, I show them a big smile and a big
~As they pass by, I take another peek inside, only to
see, that my true private self is about to die.
~As it struggles to survive, I am left alone wondering
WHY? Why are we all living and perpetrating all these
abuses, injustices, and lies . . . WHY?
~Then my all knowing, superficial wise false public self,
begins to explain, being proper, and politically
correct of course, can’t you see? Don’t you know? In
this society it is quite normal , acceptable and socially
correct to be fake, phony, and lie…..If you don’t
believe me, just watch this evenings’ news……
~Then I thought about what he said, when I say what I
really feel, and tell the truth, I am quickly reminded,
we’ll have none of that around here, not as long as
you are living under my roof or in my society! You will
have no say, cause around here, it will always be my
way, or the highway……That’s the rules…
~That means if you stay, you get beat, kicked and
cussed and told to keep you mouth shut. Cause I said.
~Man what a price to pay for being in this family, and a
member of this so called “CIVILIZED SOCIETY”. To ME
this is the purest form of crazy making known to
mankind . . . My parents and grandparents religion
preaches, peace, love and forgiveness. While
promoting, condoning and practicing war, hate,
murder, prejudice and revenge…All the while telling
me, to “ RESPECT LIFE”……
~Still clinging to their greatest excuse, “I am doing the
best I can, as they go to church, telling me God
forgives them for what they do! Giving themselves an
excuse and license to commit their crimes and abuses
over and over again. While never taking ANY personal
responsibility for anything they say or do . . How
convenient…… Man what a RUSE !!!!!
~My family and my society still denying any
damages done, their false public selves will just not
to succumb, or allow them shoulder any blame.
Could it be that they are getting pleasure from
~With this said and done, the healing process has not
begun. The hurt, the pain, blame, and shame, seems
destined to be passed on for generations and
generations to come, like an eternal plague riding on
a long, unending train.
~I still can’t understand why my family and society are
trying so hard to hide the truth. And how they can’t
know or see, how all their abuses, lies, hypocrisies
and injustices are directly linked to all the hate,
rage, violence, murder and war, found in our
families and in the world today.
~Maybe just maybe, one of these millennia, when we
get the courage, and I do mean courage, to be
honest with ourselves, our family and the rest of
society. Then and only then, will we be able to
break our cycles of abuse, and get off that long
unending train of pain, and begin to heal the pain
and the shame that binds us All.
~When we can learn to create a world without
conditional love, without deceit, without excuses,
without lies or the need to justify . . . and come
to place where we ALL realize our past generations
have created our present situations, and where we
ALL realize, WE ARE ALL SERIOUSLY FLAWED.
~Then maybe we will ALL work together, to learn how
to create a place of peace, justice and love.
~A place where we ALL REALIZE we are ALL on the
same TEAM, and where we will no longer feel the
need or obsession to compete, making war, hate and
murder, Absolutely , Obsolete.
~A place where our true private selves will no longer
have to struggle, or connive to survive.
~A place where we are ALL encouraged to grow, learn
and have pride, what the heck, while I am dreaming,
maybe even a place where we could even ALL thrive.
~It is my belief, that when we can “LEARN” to create
Peace and Love in our own Family and Society.
Then we could have Peace and Love for
Bob Allen is the Author of Horse Whispering Savvy for People www.horsewhisperingsavvyforpeople.com