Retrospect
Poetry By Gerard Haughey

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Retrospect
Poetry By Gerard Haughey

I am young, my mind is new-
I am leaving my family soon-
I am vulnerable too-

I see a hall full of doors
each knob is locked by a key-
these are the doors to the life
that will be chosen, by me-

They are closed, each one before me
A maze leads to each door, differently-
No maze is made to be easy-
Roads with long, steep hills await me-

But I will make it to the top of these hills!

There will be benches along the way
Perhaps, I may rest a while along the way?
There are side-streets-
Calling at me- "Come" "Stay for a bit here, comfort yourself" "Then you can go"
These are dead-end streets, each boasting a sign "Dead End"
Still, I think to myself, as I rest amidst my journey,
"I can always turn around and resume my climb after a little rest and comfort"

So, I take myself (no one makes me do this)
And I make a choice to follow these calls, that call out to me
"Come" "Stay for a bit here, comfort yourself"
And I sit down and there are then
What appear to be 'women and men'- walking slowly toward me-
"Hi, they all say and they smile How are you sweety?
I say back "I'm good, thank you"-

They look at each other, and then reach out to hold my hand-
I am now allowing myself to be led by them-
Though I know not where I am heading-
Still, I take a chance- and walk through a door ..

====================

I never did leave this street-
I died three years later a broken, diseased, prostitute-
Of a drug overdose-
A drug, at first, that seemed like "Heaven"-
Once bitten, I never, ever thought to give it up
For the climb up the hill to the top- was a distant memory

I guess I knew what the drug was giving me-
I just didn't know what it was taking from me-

And when I died,
I went out of my body-
And I floated up, up above the dead, diseased shell of my flesh-
And I ascended higher and soon I could see the entire Dead End street-
And my flesh lay there alongside countless others-
And just then I ascended higher and I saw the bench I rested on three years prior-

And my pocketbook was there?
I must had forgotten it.
And I could see a bottle of water beside it-
And I remembered that I had taken it with me-
For the journey -

And it had a note taped onto it-

"you can do it"

And lapped over the loop of my pocketbook strap
a Key- On a keychain that read

"Heaven's Door"