St. Anthony
Poetry By Gerard Haughey

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St. Anthony
Poetry By Gerard Haughey

I am losing purpose

Sometimes I feel like I'm on a treadmill

Sometimes I feel like I am a circus

I'm high, I'm low

I'm in the middle

I'm back, I'm forth

I feel like I am a riddle

I am looking in front

I am looking behind

Side to side

And what do I find?

It's me again-

Would you look at this?

A spirit

A Soul

I'm suppose to control?

Uh oh-

I can't do this on my own-

I can't even wake up in the morning

I have to pay my bills?

That gives me the chills-

I am an eviction

I have no conviction-

The choices are on the table

I see them all-

But I see rest in addiction-

Is this a choice?

Will I be ok?

I don't know-

I should be afraid-

Because I know, my heart is weeping-

Because I'm letting go-

Letting go to see

If anyone loves me-

Please catch me.

By Gerard Haughey, © 2011, All rights reserved.

Author Notes

I am so sorry- And even so, You caught me- And I am very sad for it all. When it is all said and done, I believe the only thing that saved me, was my faith. This exudes weakness, and Mercy.

After what I describe to be a miracle healing of a drug addiction I had to oxycontin for 8 years. I have been praying and asking who helped me. I have gotten answers- in dreams and in other ways. The bible says that Angels can find ransom for us and we can be saved in the flesh of perishing by the sword, which is eternal damnation. To some this sounds strange and maybe unrealistic- To me it is a reality because I saw it and felt it for many weeks after seeing it.

Even still I have been praying "who is my Angel, Lord"- Which Saint has helped me or prayed for me to Jesus? I had a dream that I was in a market place where a man was buying and selling gold. I gave the man a gold necklace I just wanted to see what the value of it was. The jeweler asked me to identify the gold medal that was on the gold chain. I said back "St. Anthony"- He then took it away- When he brought it back it was a different chain and medal- The chain was so beautiful with much more craftsmanship- it was heavier and bigger- At the end of it was a beautifully faceted red gem- I would say it was like a ruby- the other end was the most beautiful golden framed-church and the red ruby-like gem fit into the church steeple- And now the church was the medal. I looked so closely at the new medal it was so beautiful that words can't describe it really but when the ruby was in the steeple I could see it's beautiful red glare resonate through out the church.

Pray everyone for help with any problem you have. Be patient. We will never understand how God works. We just have to endure. I truly believe that Faith, Hope, and Love are the three pillars of Salvation.