I fall down
as if my bones turn to cardboard-
falling down like a deck of cards
flat, a mess-
who am I- gosh I wonder about this
so often?
I have so many ideas-
circling around in my round head
and I know I'm alive
I can hear my heart beating
when I put my earplugs in at night
I can see myself, alone in my memory
when my blind fold is on tight
-a perfect darkness
when I don't want to breathe
when I don't want to See-
when I just can't believe
and I do not like the sensation
of falling apart!
what a thing?
to be alone-
and the things I need most
are always the things to go first
like love.
who will pick me up
put me together?
I am apart and scattered-
looking around for a hand-
to rebuild me, put me together
again
and I'm wondering if that Hand
that I am deeply searching for-
and waiting for,
will ever come?
and the very last thing
I want to accept is that
I will have to pick myself up-
but I know,
at the same time-
that I am all I have,
for now.
March 27, 2011 © Anthony James , All rights reserved
